Today is Halloween! You probably already knew that. If you didn’t already know, I need to ask you how that’s even remotely possible. Aren’t you on a computer and also the internet and don’t you live in the age of information? To not be aware of Halloween on Halloween would take a dedicated and considered effort to avoid such things. I suppose you could object to Halloween on moral or religious grounds, which is just fine, that’s your right and you’re free to live your life however you like, but even then, to not know that October 31st is Halloween still strikes me as rather peculiar. Baseball. This is a baseball blog. You can tell because of the name of the blog and also because of the picture that accompanies this post. The picture features San Francisco Giants fans! The Giants are a baseball team and they won the World Series! In October! Their team colors are orange and black and that one guy is dressed up as a lobster! Halloween! Full circle, ya’ll. We made it, kind of.
I had this hot idea like the Giants and their colors were going to be enough to make some sort of Halloween blog post come together super seamlessly. Turns out the colors orange and black and some baseball games being played in the same month as a popular holiday does not a blog post make. Lucky for me Halloween is a big bowl of senseless nonsense, and senseless nonsense happens to be my specialty.
Say, check out this awesome Halloween costume! This was a finalist last year for some Grantland whathaveyou, and it’s pretty clever. It’s too late for you to steal this idea for yourself, but we can all enjoy it anyway. I suppose you could tweak the execution a bit and make it work for any player on any team, but this particular submission holds the esteemed distinction of featuring a baseball card with the F word on it, so it’s clearly the first and best choice.
Anyone who recreates this card will be a close second, however.
As I write this, my wife and sister-in-law are carving pumpkins while I sit on the couch and drink apple cider mixed with whiskey. We’re watching the children’s Halloween movie Hocus Pocus (1993), as three full-grown adults are wont to do. There was just a mention of baseball, which is rather convenient for someone writing a rambling Halloween blog post about said. In the scene, two bullies confront our protagonist, Hollywood. I don’t know what his real name is I just know that he’s from California and real good at drumming. Hollywood’s little sister comes to his defense, explaining that her brother is dressed in costume as “a little leaguer.” This scene exists in the internet, because the internet is awesome (sometimes).
According to Baseball-Reference, there have only been six total major league players with the name Candy. There was Candy Harris, Candy LaChance, Candy Maldonado, Candy Nelson, Candy Sierra, John “Candy Man” Candelaria who was an All-Star in 1977, and Candy Cummings, who’s in the Hall of Fame and not an adult film star.
If I had carved a pumpkin, I would have gave this Randy Johnson stencil a shot.
Happy Halloween and/or October thirty-first!