Aroldis Chapman takes a shot at White Sammy Sosa on Instagram

That is Aroldis Chapman in a barber chair with shaving cream all over his face.

The caption reads, “I am not Sammy Sosa lol.”

You’re right Aroldis Chapman, Sammy Sosa is looking suspiciously light-complected these days.

Aroldis, have you checked out his Pinterest? It’s like peering inside Sammy Sosa’s mind.

What’s inside Sammy Sosa’s mind? Sweaters. Chairs.

Desktops shining like mirrors.

In short, affluence.

I’m going to write a book about Sammy Sosa. I’m calling it, The Unbearable Lightness of Sammy Sosa.

I hope Aroldis Chapman will give me a blurb.