Baltimore Orioles: Tales from Camden Yards

The memorable journey to Camden Yards to watch the Baltimore Orioles.

Going down to the ballpark, we’d always take the metro from Owings Mills, Maryland, down to the city. That way we wouldn’t have to worry about city driving or paying for parking. For the most part, there weren’t any issues with the metro.

This time was certainly an exception. My brother, a friend, and I were heading down to the game on the metro when a man came on with a chainsaw case. I was sitting next to my friend, and my brother was sitting directly across from us. The tram was completely empty except for this man and us, yet he chose to sit right next to my brother.

He instantly struck up a conversation, oblivious to the fact that we were more than a little concerned that he had brought a chainsaw onto the metro.

He seemed kind enough; however, there was very clearly something wrong with the man. It wasn’t until he started telling my brother about a magic elixir that he had bought for $40 that always stayed cold that we started to get a little worried.

He talked about it and we just nodded our agreement. Who’s going to argue about a magic elixir with a man on the metro? But then he decided he needed to show us this magical elixir, which meant he needed to open up his chainsaw case.

At this point, there’s no getting off the tram. It’s heading down the track, and all the doors are closed. If he wanted to go Texas chainsaw massacre on us, he’d have plenty of time before the next stop.

Overriding our objections, he opened the case, exposing the fully functional chainsaw inside. He pulled out the liquid and showed it to my brother, he must’ve just bought it because it was still cold. I don’t want to know what might’ve happened if the mentally challenged man had discovered he’d been ripped off when he was with us.