In Appreciation of the Houston Astros New Uniforms
By Kyle Davis
Photo courtesy of MLB.com
Before we start, I think it’s important to remember that the word Astros is short for the word Astronaut. This is because Houston was once at the center of the US Space Program, and when the baseball team that called the city home moved into a brand new shiny covered stadium it was called the Astrodome. The Astronaut Dome. A Dome for Astronauts. The Houston Astronauts.
Before all that, the team was known as the Houston Colt .45s, a name that is so objectively better than Astros I don’t even know how to continue living in this world. The name evokes a strong, American image of violence, bloodshed, bullets and pistols—and also malt liquor (combine it all together if you fancy yourself more than a nebbish coward). Their logo and uniforms and especially baseball caps were also straight wonderful. But alas, time ruins all things. The Astros came along and just barfed all over the place. There were sunburst stripes and uniform numbers on pants and all sorts of ridiculous tomfoolery that further cements the notion that the 80’s were just literally the worst decade in the history of modern civilization. Sure, now, from the vantage of the present, these uniforms present a certain kitschy charm, a vague nostalgia worth Instagraming, but the Halloween costume novelty of the cocaine era gave way to bland conformity in the 90’s. There were some neutrals, and a big star, and then some red and some stripes and here we are, ready for reinvention yet again.
And I’m all for it! The Astros seem to have suppressed the urge to make a big splash (Marlins pun), and instead have opted for a more classic, timeless design. They look old but they’re new. They’re retro and yet modern. Simple and interesting at the same time. Some other foggy words about design and aesthetics. The orange is a little loud, but I understand the lineage and I like orange more than most. These new uniforms are so pleasant, I’m looking forward to the new AL West bound Astros making their way to Safeco Field next season, where I can take in their new pajamas live. I’m especially (again) taken by the ball caps (again). The H and the Star. The blue hat with the orange bill is, if I may, inspired. I’m a huge sucker for baseball hats with contrasting bill colors. I think they look really nice.
In summary – The Houston Astos new uniforms: I think they look really nice.
Kyle writes baseball nonsense at The Trance of Waiting. You can follow him on Twitter @AgainstKyle.