Marlins Silence A Good Thing

Well, no wonder the Miami Marlins hierarchy has reverted to a code of silence. They can’t talk about anything because everyone in management has their foot in their mouth. While it is silly that owner Jeffrey Loria and his hired help won’t talk to the Florida media, they, and we, are probably better off.

Instead we can imagine how they would comment on things like exiled pitcher Mark Buehrle saying he was promised he wouldn’t be traded for the length of his contract and now finds himself in Toronto instead of South Florida. Mr. Loria, what do you have to say to that? Multiple Choice:

In better days, Miami Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria (right) warmly greeted free-agent pitcher Mark Buehrle (left) in late December. No such smiles accompanied Buehrle’s trade to Toronto a year later. Credit: Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports

A) I never really said that.

B) I didn’t mean it.

C) Next time he’ll learn to get it in writing.

D) What, I can’t hear you?

What else can he say? The Marlins did their talking on the trading market and aren’t we all better off if the Marlins say nothing more?

Just the other day I was pondering poor, misunderstood Milton Bradley who sees the world differently than all other baseball players. You know, that fits Loria, too. He’s just misunderstood and all of the baseball writers, fans, and experts are crazy people for criticizing his trades as he wiped almost every player off his roster who had any credibility in exchange for complete unknowns.

Loria is a misunderstood genius who saw the talent in all of those young guys he got instead of the ones with the history, the stats and proven track records, and seized the moment to make them his.

Mr. Loria, why did you spend millions of dollars to acquire Buehrle, Jose Reyes, and other guys, and then get rid of them so fast? Multiple Choice:

A) They were impulse buys.

B) It was too hard to pronounce Buehrle and Reyes.

C) I figured we were a lock to win the World Series and we didn’t win, so that made me mad.

D) When I looked in my bank account it was either them or the fish in the big tank and at least the fish would never ask to re-negotiate its contract.

E) It’s my team and I can do whatever I want to.

Right now I don’t want to talk to anybody about anything, so I won’t. And I don’t want the general manager to talk to anybody about anything, so he can’t. I don’t want to hear from fans. Tell them to write me a letter and mail it to the North Pole. Maybe Santa Claus will deliver it at Christmas.

The fact is that the Marlins are a wreck of a baseball team after off-season dealing, so what is there to talk about? There’s no buzz going into spring training, only anger. The team is built to finish 50 games out of first place and what’s to say about that?

Jeffrey Loria gave Marlins fans a headache with his trades, but he is sparing them an ear ache by not talking about his team right now. That sounds like the best deal he’s made lately.