Alex Rodriguez Wants To Be an Announcer

Sep 5, 2013; Bronx, NY, USA; New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez walks off the field after the top of the first inning agains the Boston Red Sox at Yankee Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Andrew Mills/THE STAR-LEDGER via USA TODAY Sports

Why the sudden change of heart from Alex Rodriguez? Why did the disgraced All-Star elect out of the blue to drop his lawsuits, pull out of Yankees spring training and go into temporary hiding?

Two words: damage control.

A-Rod evidently has become convinced that his image is still salvageable. He thinks he can mend fences with the league, the players union and the entire media world by pulling back from his crazy litigious nonsense and going into Michael Corleone-like exile until the heat dies down.

The long-term plan here for Rodriguez is to re-emerge at some point, finish out his playing career with a little bit of dignity and then segue into life as a broadcaster or perhaps a part-owner.

Yes, that’s apparently what Rodriguez has in mind. Andrew Marchand has been told that A-Rod plans to play in 2015, and after that, it’s into the booth or perhaps the owners box.

You didn’t think he would just fade away like Douglas MacArthur, did you?

Old soldiers fade away, but Alex Rodriguez keeps coming back.

Rodriguez will be the bad penny until the day he expires. The annoying relative. The pesky pop-up ad. The pimple on the morning of the prom. The check engine light halfway from Cleveland to the Grand Canyon.

The cold on your birthday. The cable going out three minutes before the Super Bowl. The skunky beer. The rock in your shoe.

The Facebook friend request from the person you hated in high school.

Alex Rodriguez is everything annoying in the world all wrapped up in one smug package. He’ll never go away. Ever. He hates us. He is the devil.

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