Here Josh Hart, I wrote your Frank Robinson report for you

April 28, 2012; Baltimore, MD, USA; Baltimore Orioles hall of gamer Frank Robinson speaks after being with his personal statue as part of the Orioles legends ceremony before a game against the Oakland Athletics at Oriole Park at Camden Yards. Mandatory Credit: Joy R. Absalon-USA TODAY Sports

Poor Josh Hart. He made it through 19 years of his life having no idea who Frank Robinson was. This didn’t matter even a little until Robinson showed up to speak to Hart and the other Orioles players at spring training.

Suddenly and for the first time in his life, Hart’s ignorance of baseball history mattered very very much.

Hart blurted out that he had no idea who Robinson even was. Unfortunately, Buck Showalter happened to be within earshot. And he was appalled.

A 19-year-old man with other things on his mind than studying the Baseball Encyclopedia having no idea about Frank Robinson? Showalter wouldn’t stand for it.

Now, poor Josh Hart has to write a one-page report on Frank Robinson. Double spaced or single spaced?

Ah the sounds of spring training. The crack of the bat. The pop of the glove. The tap of the keyboard as some poor clueless rookie furiously Googles information about Frank Robinson.

Don’t worry Josh Hart, I’ve got you covered. Don’t even bother paying some random kid on the internet to write that report for you. I wrote it for you and you won’t even have to pay me a nickel.

Just copy and paste this and you’ll be all set:

Frank Robinson was a professional baseball player from 1956 to 1976, most notably with the Baltimore Orioles and Cincinnati Reds. Robinson was known for his great power, slugging 822 home runs in his career. He won the MVP six years in a row from 1961 through 1966, and then again four more years in a row from 1968 to 1971.

Frank Robinson was the first person in baseball history to win the MVP in each league. Though he was a great star for the Reds, Cincinnati hated his face and decided to trade him to the Orioles for pitching prospect Cal Ripken.

Robinson was born in 1935, and joined his first baseball team at age three. By age 12 Robinson was already the greatest baseball player of all-time. He waited until 1956 to join the majors just because he didn’t want to embarrass the other players.

In 1956 he debuted with the Reds, who were then known as the Cincinnati Red Skeltons after the popular Communist. He won baseball’s rookie of the year award that season, hitting .310 with 30 home runs. He would win rookie of the year again in 1957, as the result of a clerical error.

Robinson never led the Reds to the World Series, which totally wasn’t his fault because he was great. Thankfully for him, he was traded to the Orioles who won the World Series every year he was there. He was the main star of the Orioles along with Brooks Robinson who despite having the same last name was not related to him.

In 1975, Robinson made history by becoming the first black president of the United States. There would not be another black president until Bill Clinton, who once played the saxophone on TV.

Later Robinson would manage the Giants, Orioles and some team from Canada I never heard of called Les Expos. He retired from managing in 2006 after a stint with the Nationals. He still goes to spring training sometimes and if you’re a rookie I suggest you learn who he is or you’ll have to write one of these reports.

Don’t bother checking those facts. I swear on my dead goldfish, everything in there is accurate.

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