Jarrod Saltalamacchia mocks Jose Fernandez’s fashion sense

Mar 6, 2014; Jupiter, FL, USA; Miami Marlins catcher Jarrod Saltalamacchia (left) talks with starting pitcher Nate Eovaldi (right) in the dugout during a game against the Boston Red Sox at Roger Dean Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports

A fashion war is brewing inside the Miami Marlins clubhouse. On one side is the no-nonsense Jarrod Saltalamacchia. On the other side, flamboyant fashion plate Jose Fernandez.

Saltalamacchia fired the first shots in this fashion battle by donning a pair of Fernandez’s ridiculous purple pants and a pair of his absurd gold shoes, and wearing them to early practice. Just to show Fernandez how dumb a man looks in purple pants and gold shoes.

The pants were so tight, reports the Sun-Sentinel, that Salty couldn’t even do his stretches.

Marlins manager Mike Redmond dismissed the whole affair as just more spring training tomfoolery.

“I don’t know that those pants are going to fit Jose again, ever,” Redmond told Juan Rodriguez of the Sun-Sentinel. “He might have to get a new pair of purple pants. He looks good. Salty can pull it off. It was a good laugh in there. That’s what happens in baseball. You sit around too long and think of stuff that’s crazy to do that’s funny.”

Clearly, Redmond is missing the deeper, darker implications here.

Jarrod Saltalamacchia is obviously annoyed by the way Jose Fernandez dresses. It starts with gentle mockery, but it develops later into outright antagonism.

You can’t have antagonism between your star pitcher and your #1 catcher. Those guys need to be tight.

Tighter than a pair of Jose Fernandez’s purple jeans.

For the sake of team unity, Fernandez should buy some Wranglers and Keds. Ditch the Kenny Powers combo. The sooner, the better.

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