Diamondbacks will sell 18-inch bacon-stuffed corn dog

In their effort to stay on the cutting edge when it comes to giving their fans heart disease and possible stomach cancer, the Arizona Diamondbacks have announced the creation of a new culinary wonder to be offered at their ballpark this season:

The D-bat dog. An 18-inch corn dog stuffed with cheese and bacon. With a side of fries, of course. And a selection of dipping sauces.

I don’t know whether to eat thing or use it to unclog a drain.

Creative Diamondbacks fans I’m sure can find other uses for the ballpark bacon-and-cheese corn dog. The shape of it suggests all sorts of things that I don’t care to mention here.

I realize ballpark food is supposed to be disgusting and artery-clogging and probably not even technically food, but is there no limit?

We really need this?

Is there a vegetarian version at least? The turkey-stuffed 18-inch turkey dog?

That sounds worse. Well whatever. Free country. Go to town on that D-bat dog.

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