Video: Miguel Cabrera celebrates his absurd new contract with his barber

Miguel Cabrera was getting a haircut when the news came across about his new $292 million contract with the Detroit Tigers.

If a man can’t shriek like a little girl after that, when can he?

Kind of weird when you think about it. Wouldn’t Cabrera have already had at least an inkling that he was about to get paid nearly $300 million?

He reacts like it fell on his head out of the blue. I guess ballplayers really don’t get that involved in negotiations. That’s what agents are for.

Cabrera now has so much money, he will never have to do anything for himself again. Negotiate a contract. Drive. Vacuum the floor. Walk the dog. Chew his food.

Cabrera can now afford to hire a different person for every mundane task. He can hire someone just to make toast.

“No toast person, how many times do I have to tell you, egg person makes the eggs, you make the toast!”

Well he deserves the money. He can hit a baseball better than anyone else. Except maybe Mike Trout.

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