Olde Man’s Tavern: The List


Ah, Christmas. Family, food, giving for some. The Olde Man? He set about a different means within the Tavern this week. You see, I’m well aware that Santa knows who’s been good and who’s been bad. I just want to remind him as he prepares to embark on a worldwide tour.

The Tavern is going about a different task. The Olde Man will be informing St. Nick on who’s been naughty and nice. Call me an elf. Hey, Will Ferrell isn’t the only one that can have that job.

But considering it’s the holiday season should I really play informant? Most definitely. That’s why I’m starting with the naughty list.

Hank Steinbrenner. Yes, Hank, you land on the naughty list. Why? Are you really so brazen and egotistical that you feel every baseball player wants to be a Yankee? And do you honestly think that every player will end up bowing at your almighty dollar? In case you haven’t noticed, Cliff Lee and Carl Crawford would not be influenced by your money or your numerous titles. What’s the saying about putting too many eggs into one basket?

If a player rejects your money, they don’t deserve to be a Yankee? Only in your mind, Hank. Only in your mind.

Brandon Phillips


Johnny Cueto

. Too obvious? Yes, it is.

But Phillips questioned the manhood of the St. Louis Cardinals and referred to them as “whinny bitches”

. I realize that the Cards have been considered the standard in the NL Central. There’s a history of the Cards complaining about the way the baseballs were rubbed before a couple of games at Great American. So throw out an insult. Now, BP. That language does not sit well with Santa.

And what was the deal to continue to attempt to knock the shinguards of Yadier Molina after he “refused” the customary tap?

And for Cueto? All Cuteo did was end the career of Jason LaRue due to his kicking of LaRue’s backside. His complete backside. A concussion, multiple lacerations. You claime dyou were trapped against the backstop. Yes, but you put yourself in that position. I’m by far a fan of Chris Carpenter, but he was right in questioning your fighting tactics.

Edgar Renteria. I understand you were the World Series MVP. I aslo understand that for the better part of two seasons, the Giants placed $18 million in your wallet. For those two seasons, you hit 8 HR with 70 RBI in 196 games. That translates into $2.25 million per homer, $257,143 per RBI and $91,837 per game played. OK, the math may be a tad skewed, but you get the picture. To say Renteria didn’t earn his keep is an understatement. That’s even taking his postseason heroics into consideration.

The Giants offer you a $1 million deal and you feel the offer showed “a lack of respect”? Your agent attempted to calm the waters, but think about this Mr. two-time World Series MVP. Shouldn’t the Giants be extremely insulted that you robbed them of the cool cache of bills for the past two years? Yes, they should. And if they never offer you another cent, they’re smarter for it.

ESPN. For those that read Blog Red Machine where I’m the lead, I have been somewhat critical of the self proclaimed “world wide leader”. Why? Large market bias. I know a large percentage of Americans live within the metropolitan area of certain large cities (New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Boston, Dallas). I also know that sports happen outside of those large markets (Cincinnati, Kansas City, Milwaukee). Would it hurt those in the power chair to recognize the teams that reside in the “small market” other than trading a front line hurler (Zack Greinke) or a bench clearing brawl (Cincy and St. Louis)?

Oh, could ESPN please get rid of Colin Cowherd? He’s terrible. Michelle Beadle…she’s fine and I’m not meaning that in a sexist way (or am I?).

MSM. I’m going to mention a name here.

Damien Cox. Don’t know who he is? He’s a writer for the Toronto Star. Read this from his bio:

"Damien Cox, Toronto Star hockey columnist, loves to stir up trouble while chuckling at the foibles of the sporting world. He’ll start with the NHL’s Toronto Maple Leafs, an organization he’s been snooping around for almost two decades, but is happy to stick his nose into a few other games and places where athletes reside."

Humble, isn’t he?

Cox authored a post in August raising speculation about Jose Bautista and PEDs. Remember when Jerod Morris raised simliar concerns about Rail Ibanez last year? Remember how Morris was utterly raked over the coals? Virtually vilified for his post? I didn’t see anything close to the outrage about Cox and his implications. Wait. Morris is a blogger and Cox is a writer. Writers must be allowed to speculate while bloggers can’t. I didn’t see that rule anywhere. Funny how one of their own was so differently. It was pretty much swept under the rug except in Toronto.

Now to those that have been on the other side of the ledger, the nice list.

Cliff Lee

. You turned down monster cash from both the Yankees and Rangers. You turned down a seven year deal with both. Some say you left money on the table. I say you showed character. You showed that money isn’t as important to you as it may be to others. You knew you were getting a mega deal and a truck load of money was going to be yours.

You’ve heard the phrase “follow the money”? Well, Lee followed his heart. Commendable.

Pittsburgh Pirates fans. You deserve a winning team. Even after the Deadspin column revelaing some “funny finances”, you stood by your club. The Pirates front office feels it’s better to pay down debt than bring a winner to PNC. Putting butts in seats will help curb that debt a bit,too. Ever heard of attendance? You Pirates fans have been so patient. That in itself is deserving of being on the nice list.

Even if the fans were to revolt against the Bucs, I can’t blame them. Almost two full decades of consecutive seasons of under .500 ball and you’re not supposed to say a word? They did sign a couple minor free agents. I hope it all works.

Carl Crawford. No, I’m not putting him on this list for his defiance to the Yankees. He’s here for seriously being nice. After spending nine season in Tampa as a member of the Rays, Crawford pulled the ultimate “St. Nick”. He treated 150 Rays employees to lunch. Never mind the fact he didn’t attend. He opened his wallet (east to do after inking a seven year, $142 million dollar deal) and treated the organization that made him a household name.

Complete and utter class.

I know this isn’t Santa’s complete list, but I felt the big guy could use the reminder.

Speaking of reminders, the FanSided family in conjunction with Site5 are still in the midst of their Holiday Charity Drive. A goal of $5,000 was set. As of this post, the drive has collected $1,500, far short of our goal. If you would like to contribute, simply click here. You will arrive at the site for the Boys and Girls Club, the designated beneficiary of the drive. In advance, we appreciate anything you can give.

And I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight, Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night.

Oh. Almost forgot. Merry Christmas, Corey. May you and your fellow soldiers return home safe and sound.