Josh Hamilton Accidentally Walks in on All-Star Photo Shoot


Josh Hamilton (above, circled) should probably make the 2011 American League All-Star team as a starter, but was surprised to find out he wasn’t invited to the annual “Probably Going to Be An AL All-Star” photo shoot.

“What is this?  What the hell?” a confused Hamilton uttered, just as the photographer’s camera flashed.  The other players had begun laughing and shaking hands before noticing the Rangers outfielder in the background, scratching his head.

“I guess what happened was we were rounding up all the probable starters, and we were like, ‘Hey, all these guys play in the East–and most of them play in New York or Boston.  This’ll just take an afternoon to shoot,'” photographer Mike Sheeley whispered to reporters out of earshot of Hamilton.  “Its kind of embarrassing.  For him, not for us.  I mean, we got Jeter in there.  Who else do people even want to see?”

“Now we have to include [Hamilton], even though he’s not smiling, looking at the camera, or holding any baseball equipment.  I hope people realize he’s supposed to be in the picture; otherwise I’m going to have to airbrush him out or something,” Sheeley added, shaking his head.  “Ah, christ.”

Hamilton seemed more perplexed than anything.  “I mean sure, I missed some time on the DL this year, but I feel like I’ve been able to contribute pretty significantly,” he told the press.  “It just doesn’t seem fair that they’d–”

“You know what it was?” Sheeley continued, interrupting an interview with Hamilton.  “It was the DH.  We already had nine guys, so I thought we had everybody.  That’s what happened.  The fucking DH rule, am I right, guys?  Ruins everything.”

The blow was just another in a long line of what west coast fans call the “east coast bias,” in which fans and and owners of east coast teams fail to respect/acknowledge the existence of franchises in the central and western divisions of both leagues.  With the two highest payrolls in baseball in the AL East, however, the stigma is intensified.

“You know, at first, I felt like the outsider,” Jose Bautista confessed.  “Then I looked up and saw Josh standing there and my heart went into my throat.  It was like ‘oh, shit.'”

Contrary to popular belief, the American League West Division, which houses not only Josh Hamilton’s Rangers but three other entire franchises as well, has existed in professional baseball for over 40 years.  Its teams have won seven World Series titles and 10 AL pennants.  The Rangers are the defending champions of the American League.  Josh Hamilton is a three-time All-Star and holds the record for most home runs ever hit in an MLB home run derby (28).  He has never played for the Yankees.

“Seriously…” Hamilton muttered to himself moving to the exit.

“I honestly have no idea who that is,” Alex Rodriguez admitted.