This season the the All-Star theme was pretty clear: “Let’s get poisonous snakes to chase all the immigrants out of America.” A bit hostile, yes, but I’m not on the selection committee, so don’t blame me.
The Royals, however, seem to have gone with some sort of a “Royal” theme.
Interesting… twist.
"The logo suggests the recognizable shield shape of the famous Kauffman video board, and is topped with a gold crown bearing the year “2012.”–MLB.com"
What Major League Baseball means to suggest is that with national exposure, the experience that IS the shape of the scoreboard in Kauffman Stadium will be shared by all. All your favorite MLB execs were at a ceremony to unveil the new logo–Executive VP of Business Tim Brosnan, President of the Royals Dan Glass, and mayor of Kansas City/Charming rogue thief Sly James.
“Thank you for being Kansas City Royals, and representing this city in the way that it should be represented, each and every day that you go out there and play,” Sly James said, while somehow executing an extremely intricate heist that involved stealing the logo out from under everyone’s nose and seducing a hot young Kauffman Stadium employee. “We really appreciate that.”
Until the sheet was pulled off for the unveiling and everyone gasped at the empty void where the logo used to be, attendants to the ceremony got to re-live their favorite memories of past Kansas City-hosted All-Star Game logos. Why don’t we take a stroll down memory lane ourselves?
1960
In 1960, the All-Star Game was so much fun, they had another one two days later in Yankee Stadium.
You’ve probably noticed that this logo features an elephant dancing on top of a baseball. Well, no one knows for sure–no on writing this article, anyway–but the best bet is that the elephant represents the Kansas City Athletics mascot. This was in reference to Muggsy McGraw’s analysis of the Athletics franchise, in which he called it a “white elephant.” A “white elephant” being a term used to describe something of great value, but very difficult to keep alive.
And so, the Athletics proceeded through their early years, dying all over the place, with secret tunnels being dug underneath the streets of the city and filled with the carcasses of former players who had expired for no reason. [EDITOR’S NOTE: It’s really hard to follow a story when you drift without warning from the made-up parts to the true parts].
When the A’s weren’t dying, they were hosting All-Star Games, so it only made sense for them to make the elephant the center of it all. Sadly, new Kansas City owner Charlie Finley got sick of the live elephant mascot employed by the team in 1960 and naturally replaced him with a mule named “Charlie-O.”
1973
This year, the Royals wanted to make it known that they were in prison I guess, putting very serious looking vertical bars across the image of Royals Stadium. The All-Star Game was celebrating its 40th year in 1973, and having reached middle age, it obviously wanted to get inside something fresh and new. Well, that was Royals Stadium, having been open only for four months.
The anniversary was so celebrated, they marched the grizzled survivors of the first ASG out in front of everybody to do a little dance or something. I’m sure it was very tasteful. Or degrading and wrong.
This was back when they played the All-Star Game as if it wasn’t Bud Selig’s Private Joke, and the rosters were full of gritty, teeth-grinding bastards all bound for the Hall of Fame. Seriously, listen to these freaks–Hank Aaron, Johnny Bench, Pete Rose, Joe Morgan, Billy Williams, Tom Seaver, Don Sutton, Willie Mays, Willie Stargell, Brooks Robinson, Carlton Fisk, Reggie Jackson, Catfish Hunter, Nolan Ryan… even Wayne Twitchell showed up!
Sparky Anderson and Whitey Herzog didn’t even get to play.
Anyway, the point is, the logo chosen to celebrate this many legends assembling inside of baseball’s keenest new structure is rather dull. Blue is one of our more despondent colors, and the Royals used a lot of it. Granted, its the principal shade of the host team, but you figure in a situation where they are trying to get the nation’s attention, they’d throw a second shade of something in there, rather than illustrate an incarcerated baseball stadium in the only color that’s a synonym for “depressed.”
2012
And so here we are. A more brightly colored departure of past incarnations, the 2012 All-Star Game is to forever ingrain in our thoughts the very shape and size of the Kansas City Royals scoreboard.
With any luck, The Royals will be able to put some runs on it first.