MLB Christmas Wish List
By Editorial Staff
It’s the time of year that kids and adults alike gather their Christmas wishes together, listing the many different items they hope to see under their trees come Sunday morning. We at FanSided MLB have put together a wish list of our own for each of the 30 major league clubs. Check out what our writers believe each team is wishing for and be sure to have a very merry holiday season.
Arizona Diamondbacks
“Right now – I don’t know if they want to do anything other than aggrevate their fan base. That being said, I believe the Dbacks would ask for one more veteran starting pitcher to round out the rotation. I think they also would ask for more rear ends in the seats in 2012. It was embarrassing at times just how few people were at games for a winning team, including game 4 of the NLDS.”
Scott Allen – Venom Strikes
Atlanta Braves
“Well for the Braves I wish for a healthy Jason Heyward, and for Frank Wren to stop shopping in the bargain bin and invest in quality by re-signing Bourn and putting a young power hitting outfielder in left.”
Fred Owens – Tomahawk Take
“The only thing the Braves want is one person dedicated to being on standby 24/7 in case the Heimlich maneuver is needed.”
Carlos Collazo – Tomahawk Take
Baltimore Orioles
“Baltimore Orioles fans would best be served this Christmas season by a solid veteran presence to compliment Jeremy Guthrie on the starting pitching staff. If possible, a left-handed, power-hitting first baseman would give the Orioles’ lineup some umph, along with some added bench depth.”
Domenic Vadala – Birds Watcher
“Orioles would love to sign any player that either we’ve ever heard of before OR isn’t some washed-up 40 year old vet.”
Lauren Tilly – Birds Watcher
Boston Red Sox
“I wish that Jason Varitek and Tim Wakefield would retire gracefully with heads held high for a job well done. And while it does not involve baseball, I wish never to hear the name Tim Tebow again.”
Bill Smith – BoSox Injection
“1. Batteries for the Carl Crawford action figure I got last Xmas.
2. A manager who drinks strong coffee black, not wussy green tea.
3. Require FOX baseball to forbid shouting by hosts; we are not deaf; yelling stupid things does not make them any less stupid.
4. Ryan Madson as closer and Bard and Aceves in the rotation.”
Earl Nash – BoSox Injection
“1. A new Heidi Watney for NESN
2. A new cell phone for Carl Crawford so he can accept Bobby Valentine’s calls and/or text messages
3. A starting pitcher, preferably Gio Gonzalez
4. A new Heidi Watney for NESN – yes I have it twice, cause I really, really want one.”
Derek Stykalo – BoSox Injection
Chicago Cubs
“It is a rather simple request, I mean it has only been 103 years. But never give up on Christmas Miracles, all the Cubs should want for Christmas is a World Series title. Or even a replica trophy would suffice.”
Jordan Campbell – Cubbies Crib
Chicago White Sox
“Well, Santa already blew the Buehrle thing. So after that the White Sox would like a good first year out of Robin Ventura, a closer who can close, a left fielder who can left field, a new shoulder for Jake Peavy, measurable talent for Alex Rios and Adam Dunn, and some hair for Omar Vizquel.”
Anders Johanson – Southside Showdown
Cincinnati Reds
“My Cincinnati Reds Christmas Wish List”
John Heitz – Blog Red Machine
Cleveland Indians
“A vintage 2002 Jim Thome to play first base.”
Lewie Pollis – Wahoo’s on First
Colorado Rockies
“The Rockies got a whole lot of coal in their stocking last year, with Ubaldo Jimenez‘s failure to be good more than twice a month, injuries for Jorge De La Rosa and Juan Nicasio, and a complete inability to hit with RISP. So I think Santa owes them a couple of compensation picks for 2012. Any of the following would suffice: one, or better yet more than one, of our young, brilliant, untested superstar pitchers has a breakout year; Carlos Gonzalez finds a way to catch balls without sacrificing himself to the god of outfield walls; Seth Smith gets to start two days in a row, any two days; Dexter Fowler doesn’t cancel out his own on-base percentage with his caught-stealing percentage; SOMEBODY plays at least 100 games at third base; and Jim Tracy figures out that you don’t get extra points for having a different lineup card every day.”
Michael Hoag – Rox Pile
Detroit Tigers
“Tigers fans want a lead-off hitter and a Yoennis.”
John Verburg – Motor City Bengals
“Fans of the Tigers would love nothing more than they would the acquisition of a legitimate lead-off hitter. Whether Yoenis Cespedes is that or not, his signing would be pretty cool as well.”
Garret Craig – Motor City Bengals
Houston Astros
“Well one of the Astros’ wishes was granted when we got a SS! I guess the next is finding a home for Carlos Lee while not eating his ENTIRE salary.”
Alex Sandoval – Climbing Tal’s Hill
Kansas City Royals
“For Christmas, I want the Royals to find a top of the rotation starter – that doesn’t cost them Will Myers.
No regression from Alex Gordon would be nice too.”
Michael Engel – Kings of Kauffman
Los Angeles Angels
“Arte Moreno hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his head wasn’t screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
But I think it was because he had no championship at all.
He stole Albert Pujols from St. Louis
He didn’t even care if they would boo us
Moreno took C.J. Wilson from the Rangers
With no regard for inter-division dangers
He spent more money than anyone knew he had
Just so he could make all non-Angels fans sad
“And they’re still hanging their stockings!” he snarled with a sneer.
“Tomorrow is Christmas! It’s practically here!”
Then he growled, with his grinch fingers nervously drumming,
“I MUST find a way to get a World Series coming!”
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
And sent Jeff Mathis to Toronto as a dastardly present!
This made Angels fans sing like the nerdy kids on Glee.
All we need now is another championship under the tree.
And if that becomes a cartoon without me getting credit, *shakes fist*
If you get sued, however, I’ve never seen that before in my life.”
MJ Lloyd – Halo Hangout
Los Angeles Dodgers
“Dodger fans out here in LA LA land want new owners, and were getting them in April!
We also need lots and lots of runs for the 2012 season…”
Scott Andes – Lasorda’s Lair
Miami Marlins
“For Christmas, I want the Marlins to extend Mike Stanton, the Hanley trade garbage to stop, and the Marlins to bring back the Mermaids in 2012!”
Ehsan Kassim – Marlin Maniac
Milwaukee Brewers
“For Christmas, all I want is for Ryan Braun to not get suspended. I know it is a lot to ask from an overweight shut-in who only comes out once a year to break into our homes, but I think he can make it happen. Aramis Ramirez was on my wish list and I got that a little bit early. Plus they signed someone not named Yuniesky Betancourt to play Shortstop, so anything can happen. I would also like it if everyone who blasted Braun within the first 24 hours of this news was forced to eat a big plate of “I was wrong” pie. That can be more of a stocking stuffer. I think Brew City still has a lot to celebrate this Christmas.”
Lou Olsen – Reviewing the Brew
Minnesota Twins
“Dear Santa,
Please bring the Minnesota Twins healthy baseball players. That’s it. I don’t want to hear about Bi-Lateral Leg Weakness, Post-Concussion Symptoms, or Pulled Hamstrings all year long.
Lovingly,
Terry Ryan
PS: I’ve been REALLY good this year!”
Eric Pleiss – Puckett’s Pond
“As far as the Twins are concerned, I think the only thing we can really hope for is a season free of bi-lateral leg weakness and concussion-like symptoms.”
Christian Engels – Puckett’s Pond
“I wish for the Twins to acquire a pitcher who knows what a strikeout is. I also wish for them to retire Jim Kaat’s number. Most importantly, I wish a return to full health for Joe Mauer, Justin Morneau, Scott Baker, and Denard Span.”
Nate Gilmore – Puckett’s Pond
New York Mets
“New owners”
Matthew Kaufman – Rising Apple
New York Yankees
“Christmas came a bit early for the Yankees this year.”
Andrew Corselli – Yanks Go Yard
Oakland Athletics
“The A’s would love a new stadium, Santa Claus.”
Joseph Lopez – Swingin’ A’s
Philadelphia Phillies
“Dontrelle Willis, Jim Thome, Ty Wigginton? Obviously we Phillies fans have already used up all of our wishes.”
Justin Klugh – That Balls Outta Here
Pittsburgh Pirates
“We continue to wish for a BASEBALL FRANCHISE FOR SALE sign.”
Tom Smith – Rum Bunter
San Diego Padres
“The Padres would like a Cameron Maybin long-term contract. They’ll even sit on Santa’s knee if that’s what it will take.”
Justin Hunter – Chicken Friars
San Francisco Giants
“Around The Foghorn is glad Santa will be bringing back Carlos Beltran this Christmas time. Oh. Oh. That’s too expensive? Well crap. Um, well, Around The Foghorn is happy that Santa will be delivering two contract extensions for Tim Lincecum and Matt Cain. Wait – we can’t have that either!?!? What do we get? A Fontawhat? A Mike Fontenot? Is that baseballs version of coal in your stocking? Oh – that’s called a “Melky Cabrera“. Well, pfft. I always liked the Easter Bunny more than you Santa – your gifts suck.”
Bryan Rosa – Around the Foghorn
Seattle Mariners
“Mariners would like Gutierrez to be healthy, Smoak to finally reach his potential and for it all to equal a decent offense.”
Harrison Crow – SoDo Mojo
St. Louis Cardinals
“Cardinals fans want the Redbirds to repeat as World Series Champions with a victory over the Los Angeles Angels.”
Chris Carelli – Redbird Rants
“In the spirit of the holiday season, the St. Louis Cardinals wish for a do-over in the Albert Pujols negotiations, so they could convince the slugger to stay in the Midwest instead of relocating to California.”
Lew Freedman – Call to the Pen
“Cardinals would like Carlos Beltran on a team friendly deal, amnesty for the Kyle Lohse and Jake Westbrook contracts, and a muzzle for Deidre Pujols.”
Justin McClary – Redbird Rants
Tampa Bay Rays
“Rays fans wish for a catcher who he can both hit and play defense, and a good first baseman not named Casey Kotchman.”
Robbie Knopf – Rays Colored Glasses
Texas Rangers
“Rangers fans would like a swift and tidy contract negotiation with Yu Darvish, hopefully one that leaves them enough loot to sign Prince Fielder as well.”
John Parent – Nolan Writin’
Toronto Blue Jays
“The Blue Jays wish New York and Boston run out of disposable income soon.”
Mickey Brignall – Call to the Pen
Washington Nationals
“1. Full healthy seasons, with continued positive development from Stephen Strasburg, Jordan Zimmermann, Tom Milone, and Brad Peacock – the foursome that will anchor the Nationals’ rotation into the playoff race in the coming years.
2. A mutually beneficial contract extension for Ryan Zimmerman.
3. An answer to the ongoing center field problem, be it a long term solution not-named-Upton/Span or a suitable stopgap until the prospects (i.e. Goodwin) are ready.
4. Increased traffic and ad revenue for all of FanSided MLB. FanSided MLB takes over as #2 MLB source of information behind only MLBTR (we need them to still exist, otherwise what would we do without that BBWI feature?).
5. An opportunity to write, full time, about my favorite sport. Any chance to replace my day job with a laptop and Internet connection – allowing me to support a family by writing about the game I love – would be perfect.”
Aaron Somers – District on Deck
“All the Nats want is a healthy season for LaRoche, Zimmerman and Strasburg. Maybe a contract extension for Zimm, and a center fielder, since we’ve been extra good. Ooh! Also a full good season from Ian Desmond! And a rebound from Werth!
But let’s not get carried away.”
Andrew Flax – District on Deck
Call to the Pen
“I would like to see Tampa and Oakland get new stadiums, Yu Darvish not in New York, and the NBA to go under.”
Mickey Brignall – Call to the Pen