MLB All-Star Game T-Shirts: Selected Thoughts

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The MLB All-Star Game is tonight. That is certainly something! I’ll leave it up to you to decide what that something is. Sure, I have my own thoughts on the whole thing, but they’re complicated, and honestly probably boring. I’m coming to this level of acceptance with the All-Star Game that’s pretty lukewarm and uninteresting. Great story. We’re off to a rollicking start here! My point is (maybe) this: Much online ink has, and will be spilled in service of the All-Star Game. Some of it will be honest and heartfelt, some of it will be sarcastic and detached, and that seems to be the general order of things. It’s how it should and will be. I myself am moving on to much more enthralling topics—like the All-Star Game T-Shirts, for instance.

Did you know the All-Star Game has T-Shirts? I suppose I figured there would be a couple of designs, perhaps marking the date and location and whatnot for all those romantic nostalgic types—but these select four are much more. They’re dead serious. They’re brash and in your face and in all capital letters. And they’re coming for you. I didn’t realize that these phrases were also featured in an official All-Star Game commercial. I quickly learned the truth this evening while watching the Home Run Derby. Yes, I watched it, well, at least half of it anyway. The important thing is we have some real synergy on our hands, here. Money is being spent in order to make other, greater valued money. Let’s scrutinize, shall we?

I Play For The National/American League. We Will Win.

These are the best shirts because they are not true and are therefore extremely audacious. Anyone purchasing one of these T-shirts and wearing them will be unmistakably not a Major League baseball player, yet alone a Major League Baseball player skilled enough to be voted as an All-Star representative for either league. You see Clayton Kershaw over there? He’s but one example of a real life Major League All-Star who might comfortably wear this T-shirt. I’m not some condescending, high-nosed, cultured sports enthusiast, so I have no issue with the use of the word “We” in the slogan. What strikes me is the phrase “I Play for the National/American League.” No you don’t. You do not.

It’s Not Over Until October

This one is definitive, it’s bold, it’s exciting. It really gets you pumped up. It’s Not Over Until October, F yeah! I understand the sentiment, but why now, here, at the All-Star break? A different vision of this shirt’s message could go something like this: “The World Series Starts In Four Months And It’s Way More Exciting And Meaningful Than The All-Star Game.” The print would have to be pretty small on that one, but you get the idea. I guess it’s because we’re supposed to play along with the whole winner of the All-Star Game deciding World Series home field advantage thing? Yeah? That’s all I got. And besides, it’ll probably rain a ton in October and It Actually Won’t Be Over Until November.

It’s Not A Break

It was great for me, after learning of the aforementioned commercial, to watch it and hear C.J. Wilson uttering these very words on screen. C.J. Wilson bowed out of the All-Star game because he has a blister on one of his fingers. That’s all well and good, and I have no judgement for Mr. Racer in regards to his decision, but It’s Not A Break Except It Actually Is. Also, it’s called the All-Star Break. It’s literally called that.

Kyle writes baseball nonsense at The Trance of Waiting. You can follow him on Twitter @AgainstKyle.