Dec 3, 2012; Nashville, TN, USA; New York Yankees general manager Brian Cashman answers questions from the media during the Major League Baseball winter meetings at the Gaylord Opryland Hotel. Mandatory credit: Don McPeak-USA Today Sports
The Yankees find themselves in an interesting position these days. The whole Alex Rodriguez thing and all that. There are a lot of potential moves to explore, a lot of ins and outs and whathaveyous. There’s insurance claims and PED suspicions and busted old hips and over 100 million dollars on the line. And people are talking, sources, even. There is Word and whenever there is Word in sports it is the Sports Journalists who are to pass on the Word and tell us what it means. Jon Heyman is one such Sports Journalist, and he would like everyone to know about this complicated insurance business surrounding A-Rod and how it all applies to the New York Yankees Baseball Club. Here’s what he has submitted for our consideration:
"Teams don’t insure a lot of position players but the Yankees wisely insured A-Rod’s record $275-million pact, and word is significant missed time could result in the Yankees recovering 80 percent of the bucks due A-Rod, provided the insurer doesn’t put up its own stink."
Rock solid. Why haven’t the Yankees already started this process? Provided the insurer doesn’t put up its own stink, then this plan of action if foolproof. A-Rod is insured, the Yankees stand to recover a gross sum of money were they to file a claim with the insurer. If I know anything about insurance companies, it’s that they are completely reasonable, eager to service the needs of their customers, and never, ever, put up their own stink. That my friends, is what we call a
home run. As a matter of fact, following this logical thread to its inevitable conclusion, I now see a whole shitload of awesome baseball moves the Yankees can make using this new line of thinking. Moves such as:
- Swing a trade for ace pitcher Felix Hernandez, provided the Seattle Mariners don’t put up their own stink.
- Sign star second baseman Robinson Cano to a long-term, below market value contract extension, provided Cano doesn’t put up his own stink.
- Win every single baseball game next season, provided all of their opponents don’t put up their own stink.
- Hire an unsavory former gambler-type to investigate and “dig up dirt” on Rodriguez in an attempt to hasten his exit from the team, provided—oh, wait.
- Move aging superstar and franchise icon Derek Jeter to left field as to benefit from stronger defense at the shortstop position, provided Jeter doesn’t put up his own stink.
- Bring back beloved owner and managing partner George Steinbrenner from the dead to lead the team to glory, provided the limits of human mortality, space, and time don’t put up their own stink.