Hot Stove League: Worst Free Agents Available (By Position)

Sep 25, 2013; San Francisco, CA, USA; San Francisco Giants starting pitcher Barry Zito (75) pitches against the Los Angeles Dodgers during the third inning at AT

We’ve seen some big-time free agents taken off the board so far this Hot Stove season. Robinson Cano is gone to Seattle. Carlos Beltran, Jacoby Ellsbury and Brian McCann are headed for the Yankees. Curtis Granderson jumped ship from the Yankees to the Mets.

With a lot of the big-name, big-ticket, highly-sought-after guys off the board, it’s time to turn our attention to the other end of the free agent spectrum, the bargain basement crap bin why-don’t-they-just-retire-already stuff at the bottom. A round up of the worst available players at each position:

Catcher – Henry Blanco (Age: 42; 2013 stats – .142, 3 HR, 14 RBI)

No fooling, there are actual free agent rumors about Henry Blanco. Is he really that great a leader? Shouldn’t he be managing in Japan somewhere?

(signed a minor league deal with Arizona seconds after this was posted)

First base – Lyle Overbay (Age: 37; 2013 stats – .240, 14 HR, 49 RBI)

Still a serviceable first base/DH guy who will drive you in a run now and then? I guess. Sure. Whatever.

Second base – Brandon Inge (Age: 37; 2013 stats – .181, 1 HR, 7 RBI)

The super-utility dervish (Jayson Stark’s description) is now more of a no-position paperweight.

Shortstop  – Alex Gonzalez (Age: 36; 2013 stats – .177, 1 HR, 8 RBI)

Best known for not being THAT Alex Gonzalez. Cubs should sign him just to mess with fans who don’t know this.

Third base – Placido Polanco (Age: 38; 2013 stats – .260, 1 HR, 23 RBI)

.260 for Placido Polanco is like .220 for a normal man.

Outfield – Sam Fuld (Age: 32; 2013 stats – .199, 2 HR, 17 RBI)

Cub fans still want him.

Outfield – Jason Bay (Age: 35; 2013 stats – .204, 11 HR, 20 RBI)

You can get him back now Pittsburgh.

Outfield – Rick Ankiel (Age: 34; 2013 stats – .188, 7 HR, 18 RBI)

I bet he can still throw a slow runner out at the plate on the fly from right field.

Designated hitter – Travis Hafner (Age: 37; 2013 stats – .202, 12 HR, 37 RBI)

It was a pretty stiff battle between him and Lance Berkman. Lot of bad DHs out there.

Starting Pitcher – Chien-Ming Wang (Age: 34; 2013 stats – 1-2, 7.67 ERA, 14 K)

When it comes to dead-armed pitchers still drawing interest from major league teams, he is no Johan Santana.

Starting Pitcher – Roy Oswalt (Age: 35; 2013 stats – 0-6, 8.38 ERA, 34 K)

The onions-meter is still on full. Unfortunately the arm is now garbage.

Starting Pitcher – Barry Zito (Age: 36; 2013 stats – 5-11, 5.74 ERA, 86 K)

The Giants refused to pick up his $18 million option for 2014. Haters.

Relief Pitcher – Jose Valverde (Age: 36; 2013 stats – 19 IP, 5.59 ERA, 9 saves)

Oh wait, he’s hitting 95 on the gun in winter ball? My bad, sign this guy up.

Relief Pitcher – Carlos Marmol (Age: 31; 2013 stats – 49 IP, 4.41 ERA, 2 saves)

Still has great stuff, if he can only harness it. Uh-huh. Keep telling yourself that.

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