Robinson Cano Has a Cousin Named Burt Reynolds. And the Mariners Just Signed Him.

Dec 12, 2013; Settle, WA, USA; Seattle Mariners second baseman Robinson Cano (22) tips his hat as he is introduced at an interview for fans at Safeco Field. Mandatory Credit: Joe Nicholson-USA TODAY Sports

If it seems like the Mariners are picking up a lot of big names this offseason, well, it’s because they are. Apparently the Mariners are obsessed with big names. They don’t even care about the player, they just want the name.

This week they signed the biggest name of the whole offseason. Yeah, bigger than Robinson Cano. This week they signed Burt Reynolds.

It doesn’t get any bigger than that, name-wise. Now if you actually mine down below the moniker and get to the player…

You find a guy who has spent the last three seasons playing in the Can-Am and Atlantic leagues. Not a guy who appeared in such seventies classics as Gator, White Lightning and Deliverance. Not a guy who regularly squared off against Sean Connery on Celebrity Jeopardy, sometimes under the alias Turd Ferguson.

Okay so this Burt Reynolds may not be famous, but he does have a connection to someone famous. Get ready for it because I’m about to close the Circle of Amazing.

This Burt Reynolds is the cousin of Robinson Cano.

I’ll give you a second to unblow your mind. Now I’ll tell you that this isn’t the first time Burt Reynolds has been signed to the same organization as his cousin Robinson Cano. Prior to 2012, he was signed to a minor league deal by Cano’s former team the Yankees.

I’m sure Reynolds’ connection to Cano had nothing to do with his being picked up by the Mariners. At all.

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