Tim Lincecum has a disturbing mustache


Feb 23, 2014; Scottsdale, AZ, USA; San Francisco Giants starting pitcher Tim Lincecum (55) poses for a photo during photo day at Scottsdale Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

Lush manly facial hair is a big deal in MLB these days, with players from Jayson Werth to Jason Motte to Mike Napoli opting for the caveman-hipster-old-timey-fur-trapper look.

And then there’s Tim Lincecum who is going in a different direction altogether when it comes to facial fuzz.

The Giants pitcher is now sporting a bad teenager mustache. He now has a Greg Maddux circa 1987 stache going.

He now looks like the evil version of Michael Cera from that one movie with Michael Cera where there was an evil version of him who was even more of a beady-eyed creep than “good” Michael Cera.

So one day Tim Lincecum’s looking in a mirror – no doubt stoned out of his mind – and he thinks to himself, “I need something to make myself look older. A straw hat? Old man glasses? I know…a child toucher mustache.”

Tim Lincecum is sick of getting carded at taverns. Only problem, now he won’t be able to hang around playgrounds without folks getting suspicious.

Hopefully this is just a spring training thing. Hopefully when the season rolls around Timmy will break out with the razor. Two swipes and that thing will be gone.

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