Roger Clemens will help Astros say goodbye to Derek Jeter

Nov 10, 2012; Austin, TX, USA; Former major league baseball pitcher Roger Clemens watches a game between the Texas Longhorns and Iowa State Cyclones in the first quarter at Darrell K Royal-Texas Memorial Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Brett Davis-USA TODAY Sports

The Derek Jeter Farewell Tour will swing through Houston early in the season, and Jeter’s old teammate Roger Clemens will be on hand to help send him off.

In fact, the Astros say Clemens will be a large part of the Jeter goodbye ceremony. “Roger is going to be driving the bus,” Astros GM Jeff Luhnow told The New York Post. “I’m sure it will be something special.”

Is that a metaphor of some kind or will Clemens literally be driving a bus?

Is the bus just to bring in a brass band or some cheerleaders or is the bus actually a gift to Jeter?

That would be a significant upping of the gift game over what Mariano Rivera got last year. Rivera got some swell stuff but no one gave him a bus.

And what kind of bus would be talking about here? A party bus with strobe lights and a stripper pole?

That would be an appropriate gift for Jeter. A bus he can have parties in. With strippers.

I’m thinking the Astros’ GM just meant Clemens will be leading the way in saluting Jeter. Clemens is currently employed as a special assistant to the GM so he probably just volunteered to run things.

Am I the only one who’s already sick of the Derek Jeter Farewell Tour stories? I wish Jeter would shut this down. I wish he’d ask for no fuss or gifts or ceremonies.

But I guess you don’t announce your retirement a year ahead of time unless you want to bask in the adoration. Who knew Derek Jeter was so attention starved?

It’s a good move by Clemens if he wants to get back in good with Yankees fans who now perceive him as a cheater and a fraud. If you’re trying to kiss up to Yankee fans, you can’t go wrong by kissing Jeter’s ring in public.

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