Baseball gets its “Kitten Bowl,” the “Kitten Paw Star Game”


May 23, 2013; Fort Worth, TX, USA; Fort Worth Cats designated hitter Jose Canseco (33) talks with outfielder Cameron Munger (20) before the game against the Edinburg Roadrunners at LaGrave Field in Fort Worth. Mandatory Credit: Tim Heitman-USA TODAY Sports

The Kitten Bowl was such a huge hit on Super Bowl Sunday, you knew someone would eventually adapt the idea to baseball. And this could be really bad news for baseball if you ask me.

Fans, are you ready for the Kitten Paw Star Game?

It’s coming even if you’re not ready. The Hallmark Channel, creators of the Kitten Bowl, have announced the creation of a kitten All-Star game to air at the same time as baseball’s All-Star Game in July 2015.

Not July 2014? It takes two years to put together the Kitten Paw Star Game?

What the hell, is Michael Bay directing this thing?

Now most people may think this is just an adorable idea, kittens with cute names (Miguel Catbrera? Evan Longkittia?) playing whatever you call baseball when kittens are playing it, but I see the potential for real embarrassment here.

Think about it though. What if, God forbid, the Kitten Paw Star Game actually gets better ratings than the real All-Star Game?

It’s conceivable that this could happen. The Kitten Bowl this year drew six million viewers on Super Bowl Sunday. You know how many viewers last year’s MLB All-Star game drew? About 11 million.

That’s only a five million viewer gap. And Kitten Bowl was up against a whole bunch of other Super Bowl counter-programming. Kitten Paw Star Game won’t have much competition. Probably reruns.

Honestly, I would be worried about this were I MLB.

If Kitten Paw Star Game actually did beat the All-Star Game in ratings, I would consider just folding the league. That would be a “last nail in the coffin” moment.

What killed baseball in the end? Bud Selig? Steroids? Ron Washington bunting?

Nope. Kittens.

Let’s hope it doesn’t get to that point. Baseball taken out by kittens? That would be like a bunch of websites taking down the newspaper industry.

Just horrifying.

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