Mike Napoli rips Elvis Andrus’ “Abe Lincoln” beard

Apr 6, 2014; St. Petersburg, FL, USA; Texas Rangers shortstop Elvis Andrus (1) is congratulated by third baseman Adrian Beltre (29) after he hit a 2-run home run during the eighth inning against the Tampa Bay Rays at Tropicana Field. Texas Rangers defeated the Tampa Bay Rays 3-0. Mandatory Credit: Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

Mike Napoli has a big problem with former teammate Elvis Andrus‘ beard.

In an appearance on KRLD-FM 105.3 Monday, MLB beard Hall-of-Famer Napoli absolutely went off on Andrus’ facial hair, likening it to the chin fur of a well-known former American leader.

“Elvis’ beard is terrible, by the way. Horrendous. He cuts half of his chin off, too I was just up there getting on him about it,” Napoli ripped. “Yeah it’s terrible. He looks like Abe Lincoln. … He has to cut that thing off. It’s so bad, it’s almost embarrassing.. .. I can’t even look at him it’s so bad.”

Wow. I can’t remember the last time I heard one man go off on another man’s facial hair with that amount of savagery.

That is really bad, Napoli. Truly. Ripping a guy’s beard like that, it’s almost as bad as going after a guy’s mother.

Andrus should be totally enraged by what Napoli said. If I’m Andrus, I’m paying my pitcher to put one right in Napoli’s earhole.

Actually, screw that. I’m paying my manager to let me go in and pitch, just so I can throw one at Napoli’s head. That is just ridiculous.

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