Aug 24, 2016; Seattle, WA, USA; Detail view of Safeco Field sign in left field prior to a game between the New York Yankees and Seattle Mariners. Mandatory Credit: Joe Nicholson-USA TODAY Sports
The 2017 season brings another year of new and bizarre MLB ballpark foods for fans to enjoy.
There was a time when going to an MLB game meant eating peanuts, hot dogs, and Cracker Jacks, which you could wash down with a soda or a beer, depending on your age and preference. Over time, the typical ballpark hot dog was accompanied by sausages and brats, and popcorn became a fan favorite. Then the soft pretzel (with cheese or mustard), french fries, and nachos made their appearance. Of course, with baseball spanning the summer months, ice cream is a must. For the little kid wanting sticky fingers, cotton candy does the trick.
Recently, many MLB teams have come up with more creative and bizarre concoctions. Sometimes it’s simply a matter of quantity. A few years ago, the Texas Rangers came out with the Big Boomer, a one-pound hot dog that measured 24 inches long and was topped with spicy ketchup, jalapeno mustard, Baja relish, beef chili, melted cheese, and raw onions. It’s also known as the date repellent.
The Washington Nationals jumped on board in 2012 when they revealed the StrasBurger, named after starting pitcher Stephen Strasburg. The burger was a monster creation that included a combination of ground brisket, chuck and short ribs served on a large burger bun with all of the toppings you could desire. It was served with fries and a pitcher of soda. The entire thing weighed eight pounds and was reportedly over 10,000 calories.
Some bizarre ballpark foods are native to the region, like the Colorado Rockies’ offering of Rocky Mountain Oysters. Despite the name, they aren’t actually oysters; they are deep-fried bull testicles served with a dipping sauce and set on a bed of french fries. Up in Canada, the land of poutine, the Blue Jays offered chicken and waffles on a stick with buffalo cauliflower poutine.
This year brings a fresh batch of ballpark delights. Years ago, a bacon cheeseburger with Krispy Kreme donuts as buns qualified as bizarre. Now, teams are taking things to a whole other level. Here’s a look at the five most bizarre ballpark foods out there for 2017.
I once knew a couple who ate fried eggs with every meal. No matter what was on the menu, they would “flop a fried egg on it.” French toast for breakfast? Flop a fried egg on it. A turkey sandwich for lunch? Flop a fried egg on it. Macaroni and cheese for dinner? Flop a fried egg on it. They couldn’t have a meal without flopping a fried egg on it.
At Kansas City’s Kauffman Stadium this year, you can get the Sunrise Dog, which is a jumbo hot dog with bacon, cheddar cheese, white sausage gravy, and a fried egg flopped on it. They could have gone with the name Cholesterol Dog, but Sunrise Dog sounds healthier. Also, the yolks in the fried eggs do look like miniature suns.
While the Sunrise Dog might tickle the taste buds, I imagine it would be a messy experience. A fried egg looks nice right up until you bite into it and the yolk starts running, mixing with the cheddar cheese and gravy that will undoubtedly drip down your arm if you try to eat it by hand. This one requires a plate and a fork if you don’t like to get your hands messy when you eat. Of course, if you’re eating a Sunrise Dog, perhaps messy hands aren’t a concern of yours.
Tuna Poke Bowl—Los Angeles Dodgers (Dodger Stadium)
The signature food of Dodger Stadium is the Dodger Dog, which was invented by Thomas Arthur, the first concessions manager at the Stadium, back in 1962. It was originally called a “foot long dog”, but fans complained because it was actually just 10 inches long. Thomas Arthur was exaggerating the length of his hot dog by two inches and people weren’t happy. When fans complained, it became known as the Dodger Dog. Today, you can get either the steamed Dodger Dog or the “classic” grilled version.
Of course, the Dodger Dog came into existence many years ago and the modern Dodger fan has a more discerning palette. Sure, plenty of Dodger Dogs are consumed each year, but some people, especially in L.A., are becoming more health-conscious. For those looking for a healthier alternative to the typical ballpark fare, the Dodgers present the Tuna Poke Bowl. It consists of ahi tuna served in a bowl with vegetables, edamame and a soy dipping sauce.
This is a case of knowing your market. The Tuna Poke Bowl is perfect for L.A., the land of beautiful people, but probably wouldn’t do well in Pittsburgh or Philadelphia, where the Primanti Brothers and Philly Cheesesteaks reign supreme. In fact, it’s not hard at all to imagine Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone sharing a Tuna Poke Bowl in their next movie together.
While it’s not as hotly debated as “Is a hot dog a sandwich?”, there is a long-simmering debate about what exactly constitutes a grilled cheese sandwich. For the purist, a grilled cheese sandwich is bread and cheese, and maybe you can add some butter on the bread. That’s it. A grilled cheese sandwich is bread and cheese. It’s not bread, cheese, and ham. It’s not bread, cheese, and roast beef. It’s not bread, cheese, and hamburger. Those are all their own things, like a ham and cheese or a roast beef and cheese or a patty melt. They are not grilled cheese sandwiches.
So you can imagine what a purist thinks of the Houston Astros offering the Spam Grilled Cheese Sandwich at Minute Maid Park this year. Spam? Really? Once you add the Spam, it’s no longer a grilled cheese sandwich! It has become something entirely different, something that sullies the name of the classic grilled cheese.
Spam is defined as a “canned precooked meat product.” I’m always a little wary of eating something with “product” at the end of its name. In this case, the perfect paring for Spam is another food product—Velveeta Slices (“pasteurized prepared cheese product”). You can put them together and sell them at a ballpark near you, but don’t call it a grilled cheese. I think SpamVeeta Sandwich has a nice ring to it. Of course, that doesn’t mean I’d eat it.
There was a time in this country when a person would eat waffles with butter and syrup in the morning and chicken for lunch or dinner. They were kept separate. One was a sweet and savory breakfast item. The other was a hearty, meaty meal best consumed later in the day.
Then, like the magical combination of peanut butter and chocolate, someone stumbled upon the chicken and waffles combination. According to Wikipedia, waffles served with chicken and gravy was a common Sunday dish for the Pennsylvania Dutch in the late 1860s. It should be noted that this is not the same chicken and waffles combination that has recently become more popular. The Pennsylvania Dutch version consists of a plain waffle with pulled, stewed chicken on top, then covered with gravy. The recently popular combination is waffles with fried chicken, not stewed.
The ballpark of the Arizona Diamondbacks, Chase Field, is where the chicken and waffle combination has taken its next evolutionary step. They have a Chicken Funnel Cake Sandwich, which has enough contrasting flavors to make your eyes cross. It consists of a piece of chicken topped with garlic black pepper cheddar cheese, strawberry jam, and maple syrup that sits between two funnel cakes. Your mouth will be bombarded with an abundance of texture and flavor, whether it wants to be or not.
Toasted Grasshoppers in Chili Lime Salt—Seattle Mariners (Safeco Field)
Rounding out this bizarre food list for MLB teams is an item that many people would not consider to be food at all. It’s not a strange combination of foods, like chicken and funnel cakes, or a famous food “product” like spam and grilled cheese, or even a food not remotely associated with baseball, like the Tuna Poke Bowl. No, it’s a “food” that might be eaten by Andrew Zimmern of the Bizarre Foods series on the Travel Channel.
The Seattle Mariners will offer what the team’s concessionaire general manager says is a “one-of-a-kind snack that the fans will really love—either on a taco or on their own.” He’s talking about toasted grasshoppers. Specifically, toasted grasshoppers in a chili lime salt, known in Mexico as Chapulines. No, seriously, toasted grasshoppers.
For the health conscious, these toasted grasshoppers are filled with protein and are gluten free. They are even FDA approved because the FDA allows the sale of insects if they’re intended for human consumption. So, yeah, there’s that.
The toasted grasshoppers can be found at a stand run by a local Mexican restaurant called Poquitos that is located behind the outfield wall in an area known as The Pen. It feels like the ultimate bet food. As in, “I bet you two microbrews you can’t eat an entire cup of toasted grasshoppers”
Deep Fried Bubble Gum—West Michigan Whitecaps (Detroit Tigers Class-A team)
For a bonus bizarre ballpark offering, we go to the Detroit Tigers’ Class-A team, the West Michigan Whitecaps, who play at Fifth Third Ballpark. The Whitecaps recently held a fan vote to decide on a new concession item. The winner ended up being Beercheese Poutine, which is pulled pork, barbecue sauce, and green onions over waffle fries.
Unfortunately, the fans’ choice of Beercheese Poutine meant another option missed the cut: deep-fried bubble gum, which is an atrocity that won the “Most Creative” title of the Big Tex Choice Awards at the 2011 Texas State Fair. It’s important to remember that “Most Creative” doesn’t necessarily mean good.
Before deep fried bubble gum took home the title, it was fried beer that won the “Most Creative” category. The website Serious Eats described fried beer as having “a taste similar to a beer belch after a frat party: flat, bitter, and gassy.” They also said it was better than deep-fried bubblegum, which tells you just how truly awful deep-fried bubble gum must be.
It should be pointed out that deep-fried bubble gum is not really bubble gum. It’s actually marshmallow mixed with bubble gum extract, battered and fried. It sounds like it tastes as awful as it looks. Even though the deep-fried bubble gum didn’t make the cut at Fifth Third Ballpark, fans can still enjoy deep-fried Twinkies and smoked pork ribs served on a bed of mac ‘n’ cheese.
