MLB: Send The Freeze to All-Star Week, and more fun ideas

Jun 17, 2017; Atlanta, GA, USA; Atlanta Braves grounds crew member The Freeze races past a fan during the game against the Miami Marlins at SunTrust Park. Mandatory Credit: Dale Zanine-USA TODAY Sports
Jun 17, 2017; Atlanta, GA, USA; Atlanta Braves grounds crew member The Freeze races past a fan during the game against the Miami Marlins at SunTrust Park. Mandatory Credit: Dale Zanine-USA TODAY Sports
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Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports
Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports

Make euphemistic language literal

Fun Rating: 10/10

I’m stealing this idea directly from Mallory Rubin and her contribution to Grantland a few years back because it is the best idea I have ever read in relation to “fixing MLB All-Star Weekend.” Everyone should give the link above a click and read, but the basic idea is to treat all of baseball’s weird little sayings as if they were being carried out by Amelia Bedelia. For example, we could have outfielders catch a literal can of corn; or make a giant pickle which runners could actually be stuck in; or have Clayton Kershaw serve up an actual meatball to Mike Trout. There will be plenty of trade rumors at All-Star Weekend, so we could have an actual hot stove from which reporters have to send their tweets out from. How about a few players from the actual Texas League show up? The possibilities are endless.

Drawbacks: 0/10

There are literally no drawbacks to this idea. It is perfect.

Likelihood: 4/10

It seems a little too corny for baseball to ever pour money into, but maybe if we wish it hard enough it will come into existence.

Contenders: 10/10

Baseball is filled to the brim with good eggs who will do incredibly dumb, but also awesome, things for team and league promotions.

Next: Could there be a MLB-KBO All-Star game?

Something tells me they would be all over this.