Adrian Beltre better protect his head when he gets hit number 3,000

ARLINGTON, TX - JUNE 16: Adrian Beltre
ARLINGTON, TX - JUNE 16: Adrian Beltre

The 3,000th career hit is coming soon for Adrian Beltre and when it happens, his teammates will want to touch his head in celebration.

Texas Rangers third baseman Adrian Beltre picked up two more hits on Friday and is now at 2,998 for his career. He’s on the cusp of joining a club with just 30 members. When he gets magic hit number 3,000, he’ll pull into a tie with the great Roberto Clemente on the all-time career hits list.

When Beltre gets that hit, you can bet his teammates will mob him like slam-dancers in a mosh pit. They’ll pat him on the back, punch him in the arm, hug him, squeeze him and, very likely, try to touch his head. This is when things could get serious.

Adrian Beltre hates to have his head touched. This goes back to when he was 12 years old and his head was touched by one of his cousins. Beltre didn’t like it one bit. He didn’t like it then and he doesn’t like it now. According to this article, it started when he played for the Seattle Mariners from 2005 to 2009.

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He won’t say which of his Mariners teammates it was, but one guy touched his head and Beltre told him he didn’t like it. That was like catnip to the teammate, who couldn’t resist attempting to touch Beltre’s noggin from that point forward. It spread like wildfire, with other teammates wanting to touch Beltre’s dome.

You might be wondering which Seattle Mariner started the Beltre head-touching phenomenon. My first thought was Ken Griffey, Jr. He liked to have fun and he liked to pull pranks on people, like the time he put a cow in manager Lou Piniella’s office after losing a steak dinner bet. Griffey wasn’t with the Mariners when Beltre signed with them, but he returned to the Mariners in 2009, Beltre’s last season with the team. It could have been Griffey.

Felix Hernandez is another possible culprit. He was with the team during Beltre’s entire tenure with the M’s. He’s another guy who likes to have fun. He also has an interesting relationship with Beltre. They’ve had plenty of fun on the diamond as opponents, including this play when Beltre lined the ball back at Felix and Felix caught it and tossed it back at him. It could have been Felix.

Whomever it was, it’s become a thing now. The head-touching followed him to Boston and Texas. His main nemesis on the Rangers is shortstop Elvis Andrus, who is like an annoying little brother to Beltre. They sometimes look like a comedy duo out there with their antics and Andrus has made it his life’s mission to bug Beltre every chance he gets, including touching Beltre’s bean.

Beltre should get hit number 3,000 any day now. It could be tomorrow or Sunday, with home games against the Baltimore Orioles. They face Kevin Gausman on Saturday and Wade Miley on Sunday. It wouldn’t be surprising to see Beltre get a couple hits over the weekend.

If his quest stretches beyond the weekend, Beltre faces his old teammate and current adversary, Felix Hernandez, on Monday. It would be fitting to see Beltre get his big knock against King Felix, especially if it was Felix who started the head-touching thing. That would be sweet revenge for Beltre.

When he does get that hit, he better guard his cranium because his teammates plan to swoop in and get their touches. If ever there’s an occasion to touch Beltre’s head, it’s this one. Teammate and faux-bro Elvis Andrus acknowledged as much, especially if the hit is a home run. Andrus said, “If he hits a homer, then yes. For sure. A hundred percent. If his 3,000th hit is a homer, then we’ll all touch his head. We’ve talked about it. He said he would let everybody touch his head at least once.”

Once the 3,000th hit and all the head-touching is in the books, Beltre will continue his way up the ladder. He’s projected for another 60 hits this year, which would allow him to pass seven Hall of Fame players and put him very close to another, Craig Biggio (3,060 hits). Ichiro Suzuki currently has 3,059 but will continue to add to his total over the season’s last couple months.

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Beltre will likely finish this year around 23rd place on the all-time career hits list. With one more year left on his contract with the Rangers, Beltre could move as high as 15th place by the end of next season (Cal Ripken, Jr., with 3,184). When he does finally retire and head to the Baseball Hall of Fame, perhaps the Texas Ranges will dedicate a statue to Beltre at their ballpark. If they do, he’ll likely want it tall enough that no one can touch the head.