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MLB: What if the holidays were an actual baseball team?

By Bobby Mueller

CINCINNATI, OH - MAY 08: General view as a Mother's Day message is shown on an outfield scoreboard during a rain delay prior to a game between the Milwaukee Brewers and Cincinnati Reds at Great American Ball Park on May 8, 2016 in Cincinnati, Ohio. (Photo by Joe Robbins/Getty Images)
CINCINNATI, OH - MAY 08: General view as a Mother's Day message is shown on an outfield scoreboard during a rain delay prior to a game between the Milwaukee Brewers and Cincinnati Reds at Great American Ball Park on May 8, 2016 in Cincinnati, Ohio. (Photo by Joe Robbins/Getty Images) /
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CINCINNATI, OH – MAY 08: General view as a Mother’s Day message is shown on an outfield scoreboard during a rain delay prior to a game between the Milwaukee Brewers and Cincinnati Reds at Great American Ball Park on May 8, 2016 in Cincinnati, Ohio. (Photo by Joe Robbins/Getty Images) /

If all the holidays got together on a sunny afternoon and played an MLB baseball game, what position would each play and where would they bat in the lineup?

With no MLB baseball games to watch and Jerry Dipoto not making a trade for the last two days, I have to find another way to get my baseball fix. Sure, football’s on TV, but it’s just not the same. Baseball is life. Life is baseball. I can’t get enough of it and the MLB.

With that in mind and Thanksgiving Day upon us, it occurred to me that if Thanksgiving Day were an MLB baseball player, it would be a catcher. And then it just took off from there. Here is an MLB baseball lineup made up of holidays.

CF New Year’s Day—The leadoff man is New Year’s Day, playing center field. It symbolizes a fresh start, a new beginning, that time of year when you make your New Year’s resolutions to start going to the gym every day, eating right, and drinking your eight glasses of water every day. That crush you’ve been dying to talk to? It’s still an excellent possibility on New Year’s Day.

2B Mothers Day—Taking the second spot in the lineup and playing second base is Mothers Day. In the field, Mothers Day isn’t as flashy as Cinco de Mayo over there at shortstop, but just as strong when it’s time to hang in there on a tough double play.

At the plate, Mothers Day can lay down a bunt or hit the ball through the hole on the right side for a perfect hit and run. You need a ground ball to move the runner up? Mothers Day will get it done. Do you need to squeeze a run in late in the game? Give the sign to Mothers Day. Despite being the most crucial member of the team, Mothers Day doesn’t get the recognition it deserves.

1B Fathers Day—Fathers Day, playing first base, will line shots to the gap and drive in the runs that Mothers Day moves to second or third. They work together as a team. New Year’s Day leads off with a bunt single. Mothers Day hits a line drive to right to move the runner to third. Fathers Day hits one to the left-center gap to drive in a run or two. In the field, Fathers Day can charge the plate to field a bunt knowing that Mothers Day will be covering first.

RF Fourth of July—The Fourth of July is the hard-hitting right fielder who can be just a little too reckless at times. Fourth of July can hit bombs in one at-bat, then fizzle out on a pop up to second the next time up. In the field, Fourth of July has a howitzer for an arm, but it’s scattershot. The throw will often be a beautiful thing, but you’re never quite sure where it will end up.

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