Shohei Ohtani has met with the seven finalists and will now make his decision, but what does the Magic 8 Ball have to say?
“Magic 8 Ball: Will I ever go on a date with Christie Brinkley?” “Magic 8 Ball: Will I ever kiss Christie Brinkley?” If there was one thing I loved more than baseball when I was a teenager, it was Christie Brinkley.
I wore my Magic 8 Ball out with Christie Brinkley questions. “Magic 8 Ball: Will I ever go skinny-dipping with Christie Brinkley?” That was after seeing the National Lampoon’s Vacation movie.
For more than 50 years, people have been asking questions of the Magic 8 Ball, which is a softball-sized black ball with the number eight on it that resembles an oversized cue ball. What makes it magic is that it can tell the future. Inside the Magic 8 Ball is a reservoir of blue fluid with a white icosahedron imprinted with 20 phrases (technically speaking).
You hold the ball in your hand, ask a question while shaking it, then turn it over to reveal the answer through a window on the bottom of the ball. Teenagers have spent many hours asking the Magic 8 Ball if they will ever get to kiss their crushes.
College students in smoke-filled dorms have asked the Magic 8 Ball more complex, philosophical questions, like “Who wins when an irresistible force meets an immovable object?” The Magic 8 Ball knows.
I was once in a Target store holding a Magic 8 Ball wondering if I should buy it. I rolled it around in my hands and asked, “Are you worth $6.49?” The Magic 8 Ball responded, “My sources say no.” That created some philosophical angst.
If the Magic 8 Ball doesn’t give accurate responses, then it isn’t worth $6.49. But by answering that it’s not worth $6.49, doesn’t that prove just how accurate the Magic 8 Ball is?
There are variations of the Magic 8 Ball, such as the Sarcastic Ball, which response with answers like “Ask me if I care” and “Yeah, right.” Another is the Magic Cheezburger 8 Ball, which looks like a cheeseburger and gives some answers in text-speak, like “SRSLY?” A Kickstarter project called the Jewish Wisdom Ball presents a variation with responses like, “You call that a question?” and “You even need to ask?” The Jewish Wisdom Ball should have an arm that gestures when it responds. “So now you need my help?”
Variations on the original are nice, but when it comes to the big decisions, only the genuine Magic 8 Ball will do. In the baseball world, one of the most significant decisions baseball fans are waiting to hear about is the destination for Japanese two-way player Shohei Ohtani.
The field has been narrowed down to seven teams, and interviews have been conducted. Now it’s time for Ohtani to make his decision. While we wait, let’s see which MLB team the Magic 8 Ball thinks Ohtani will sign with.