Shohei Ohtani destination predicted by the magic eight ball

SAPPORO, JAPAN - NOVEMBER 08: Starting pitcher Shohei Otani
SAPPORO, JAPAN - NOVEMBER 08: Starting pitcher Shohei Otani /
3 of 8
Shohei Ohtani
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – AUGUST 21: A general view during the San Francisco Giants game against the Milwaukee Brewers at AT /

San Francisco Giants

Optimistic Giants fans are having a hard time sleeping at night lately, but it’s not sugarplums dancing in their heads. It’s the thought that their favorite team could sign Giancarlo Stanton AND Shohei Ohtani in the same week. It would be an incredible feat.

Stanton is coming off a 59-homer season that earned him the NL MVP Award. The Derek Jeter Miami Marlins want Stanton and his massive contract out of Miami, and the Giants are willing to take both. The St. Louis Cardinals are also in the mix. The Giants and Cardinals are like two teenage guys vying for the love of the popular girl who is newly single.

Unfortunately for the Giants and Cardinals, the popular girl has been crushing on the Dodgers and appears to be waiting to see if they’ll make their move. Time is passing, and the Dodgers are acting uninterested while the Giants and Cardinals wait by their phones hoping for a Stanton phone call.

In the meantime, the Giants are also putting the moves on Ohtani. He could slide into a rotation with an excellent front three of Madison Bumgarner, Johnny Cueto, and Jeff Samardzija. When he’s not pitching, he could join the outfield mix that includes Hunter Pence, Denard Span, Jarrett Parker and maybe Giancarlo Stanton.

The Giants are like Zack Morris in Saved By the Bell trying to date two girls at the same time secretly. What does the Magic 8 Ball think about this situation?

Magic 8 Ball: Will Shohei Ohtani sign with the San Francisco Giants?

Magic 8 Ball answer: Outlook not so good.

According to the Magic 8 Ball, the outlook is not good for the Giants signing Ohtani. Just like Zack Morris, the Giants will crash and burn in their attempt to pull off the secret double date with Stanton and Ohtani.