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Shohei Ohtani destination predicted by the magic eight ball

By Bobby Mueller

SAPPORO, JAPAN - NOVEMBER 08: Starting pitcher Shohei Otani
SAPPORO, JAPAN - NOVEMBER 08: Starting pitcher Shohei Otani /
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Shohei Ohtani
SEATTLE – APRIL 02: General view of Safeco Field during the opening day game between the Seattle Mariners and the Oakland Athletics on April 2, 2007, in Seattle, Washington. The Mariners defeated the A’s 4-0. (Photo by Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images) /

Seattle Mariners

Secret undercover footage has been found of Mariners GM Jerry Dipoto taking Shohei Ohtani around town to look at the sites. It was the greatest day of Dipoto’s life, and he could barely contain his excitement when it was over.

With their trade on Wednesday of minor league catcher David Banuelos to the Twins, the Mariners acquired another $1 million in international slot money that can be used to pursue Ohtani. This additional cash gives the Mariners the second-highest signing bonus to offer, after the Rangers. Jerry Dipoto has made no secret of his desire to sign Ohtani. He’s going all in.

The Mariners have plenty of things in their favor. They’re on the West Coast and are the closest to Japan of the remaining seven teams. They have a good history with Japanese players, including one of the all-time greats, Ichiro Suzuki. As an American League team, they can play Ohtani at DH when he’s not pitching.

The city of Seattle is enticing, with a coffee stand on every corner and fresh salmon at all the finest restaurants. The view of Mount Rainer as you head south into Seattle is beyond amazing. It’s transcendent.

Despite its reputation for rainy days, Seattle has good weather during baseball season. Last year, they had no rain at all in July and just a tiny sprinkle in August and not much more than that in September.

On the other hand, there is the “Seattle Freeze.” This isn’t weather-related; it’s personality related. There’s this idea that people in Seattle are seemingly friendly, but secretly not. The Urban Dictionary has an entry for “Seattle Freeze.”

"It’s not that people here are unfriendly, they will hold the door for you and wave you into traffic and stuff like that, it’s that everything is maddeningly impersonal. The attitude is “have a nice day, somewhere else.” It’s easy to get along but making friends is almost impossible. People will say they want to hang out with you sometime and look at you like a freak when you actually suggest something. People enthusiastically say they are coming to a party, then don’t show up. Norms of social interaction don’t apply here. Most people don’t like or dislike you, they’re totally indifferent.”"

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So, yeah, that’s Seattle. Depending on Ohtani’s personality, that could be an asset or a detriment. What does the Magic 8 Ball say?

Magic 8 Ball: Will Shohei Ohtani sign with the Seattle Mariners?

Magic 8 Ball answer: Concentrate and ask again.

Dang, Magic 8 Ball, I am concentrating! I’m even visualizing what uniform Ohtani will be wearing as a major leaguer. I only wish the Padres would bring back their 1970s brown-and-yellow uniforms that made them look like they should be behind a counter asking me if I would like fries with my Big Mac. Okay, last chance, Magic 8 Ball.

Magic 8 Ball: Will Shohei Ohtani sign with the Seattle Mariners?

Magic 8 Ball answer: Most likely.

Next: Ohtani or Otani? Which is it?

There it is, Mariner fans! The Magic 8 Ball has spoken and says the Mariners are the most likely team to sign Shohei Ohtani! Congratulations! Now if Jerry Dipoto can find a couple more pitchers for the rotation, a first baseman, and some relievers, the playoffs could be within reach.

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