Come on Out and Insult the Mets
So the players have to rise above. But that can be difficult as everyone has different triggers, as Mr. Met proved.
So I thought to present a few choice insults here, and now that might be hurled this season so Mets players can gauge their triggers and be ready for what comes at them.
Let’s start with the basics: You friggin’ jerkoff. Now, most of the players have probably heard this just walking into the stadium, so they should be okay here. But what about, “I got ya curve ball right he-ya”? Don’t fall for that one, Matt Harvey.
Alright, those are just warm-ups; time to get downright nasty: “You suck, yah mothah sucks, yah sistah wouldah sucked but I didn’t have a quatah.”
Hey now! Still, though, Adrian Gonzalez, you cannot rush the stands.
Okay, you are ready for all of that to come screaming from the seats. Now let’s see how you might do with the granddaddy of all insults, a phrase so powerfully insulting that it can wither empires. And here it is:
"Former Mayor of London Boris Johnson has engaged in a battle of words with his predecessor over the visit of Donald Trump to the UK. He said: “The US is the biggest single investor in the UK – yet Khan & Corbyn seem determined to put this crucial relationship at risk. We will not allow US-UK relations to be endangered by some puffed up pompous popinjay in City Hall.”"
OMG!
Gentle readers, you should know that the editors and I discussed at length if we would even deign to print such a saying. But we felt it was in the best interest of the Mets, and do apologize for any who have been offended.
But this is about the Mets players. And I just want Noah Syndergaard to be calm if someone calls him a puffed up pompous popinjay in the middle of August. I know it will be difficult, but you should never give in, never surrender.