PYEONGCHANG-GUN, SOUTH KOREA - FEBRUARY 24: The United States Men's Curling Gold Medalists Matt HamiltonJohn Shuster, John Landsteiner, Tyler George and Joe Polo on February 24, 2018 in Pyeongchang-gun, South Korea. (Photo by Marianna Massey/Getty Images)
PYEONGCHANG-GUN, SOUTH KOREA – FEBRUARY 24: The United States Men’s Curling Gold Medalists Matt HamiltonJohn Shuster, John Landsteiner, Tyler George and Joe Polo on February 24, 2018 in Pyeongchang-gun, South Korea. (Photo by Marianna Massey/Getty Images) /
The gold-medal winning U.S. Olympic Curling team threw out the most entertaining MLB first pitch ever at the Minnesota Twins home opener.
There have been some great first pitches over the years. This collection includes a well-thrown toss from Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson, a less-than-perfect throw from Chewbacca, acrobatic heaves from a Cirque de Solei performer and gymnast Simone Biles, and an impressive first-pitch fastball from Colin Kaepernick that was the fastest of the bunch. Some first pitches tug at your heartstrings and others, like Snoop Dogg, Carley Rae Jepsen, and 50 Cent, are frighteningly bad.
A young girl named Hailey Dawson, who was born without three fingers on her throwing hand, has been making the rounds at MLB stadiums to throw out first pitches. She uses a 3-D printed prosthetic hand, and her most recent toss was in San Francisco. Her goal is to throw the first pitch at every big league ballpark.
Here is a current list for Hailey's First Pitches. We are still working on setting a date with 7 teams that aren't listed. Hailey is super excited and @UNLVEngineering is building a special hand for each pitch. pic.twitter.com/s0XbVH3nhG
When it comes to sheer entertainment value, though, the MLB first pitch thrown at the Minnesota Twins home opener this year will be hard to top.
MLB aerial attack
This was the same game as the attack of the bald eagle when Mariners pitcher James Paxton, a six-foot-four lefty nicknamed “Big Maple,” was confronted by an American Bald Eagle during the National Anthem.
Paxton was respectfully standing with his hand over his chest as the singer got to “O’er the land of the free-eee.” At that moment, the eagle buzzed the tower of Big Maple before landing in front of him. When the singer continued, “And the home of the brave,” the eagle jumped on Paxton’s shoulder before jumping back off. Big Maple took it all in stride. When asked about it after the game, he said, “I’m not gonna outrun an eagle, so I just thought, ‘We’ll see what happens.’” At least he wasn’t injured like seemingly every other Mariner (and announcer Dave Sims).
As exciting as the eagle attack was, the ceremonial first pitch at that game was epic. It will be remembered for years to come. The five-man, gold-medal winning U.S. Olympic Curling team lined up across the infield to throw out the first pitch. No one could have known what they were about to witness next. And then it happened. The most entertaining first pitch in the history of baseball.
This first pitch had everything you could ask for. Do you like good first pitches that zip right into the catcher’s glove? We got you covered. Do you like terrible first pitches that sail off in random directions? No problem. Do you like oddly delivered first pitches that eschew the traditional overhand method? Check.
When you watch this first pitch, you don’t know where to look. There’s too much going on. You have to watch it multiple times to fully appreciate its greatness. It’s like a movie that you watch over and over, and you see something new every time, like spotting the green shirt guy in the movie Grease. Behold the wonder that is this incredible first pitch:
An MLB first pitch for the ages
This first pitch is an MLB Rorschach Inkblot. What you see depends on how your mind works. If M.C. Escher painted a baseball scene, this would be it. Like the staircase that leads to nowhere, you see pitches going where there are no catchers and catchers wondering what happened to their pitch.
This first pitch could be a personality test where a person is instructed to watch the video then asked, “Which thrower are you?”
If you chose the guy on the left: You’re conventional in the things you do and have a strong sense of tradition. You like order and structure. You are dependable and reliable, which sometimes goes unnoticed. Flashiness is not your way. If your life were the “Tortoise and the Hare” parable, you would be the tortoise. In the baseball world, you are Jose Quintana.
If you chose the guy second from the left: You frequently feel like your life is moving forward but the destination eludes you. You’re one to fulfill your duties only to be let down by others. You are Charlie Brown stepping forward to kick the football, only to have Lucy snatch it away at the last minute. In the baseball world, you are Chris Archer.
If you chose the guy in the middle: You enjoy the spotlight and being the center of attention even when it results in embarrassment. You are spontaneous and energetic. You enjoy being impulsive, even if it frightens those around you. You would benefit from a more controlled approach, but this goes against your nature. In the baseball world, you are Fernando Rodney.
If you choose the guy second from the right: You epitomize the mantra, “marching to the beat of a different drummer.” You reject convention and instead find your own way, but always with a strong desire for an outstanding result. Personality-wise, you are the calm inside the storm. When all around you is chaos, you are tranquil. In the baseball world, you are Brad Ziegler.
If you chose the guy on the far right: You’re content to stay out of the spotlight and do your own thing. You don’t need acclaim and approval. You’re in the moment, enjoying the present. It may take you a little longer, but you’ll get there in due time. In the baseball world, you are Rich Hill.
With an eagle attacking the opposing MLB team’s pitcher and this incredible first pitch, that Minnesota Twins’ pregame show had it all. And the Twins won the game, which is a nice bonus for the fans. Kudos to the Twins for deploying that eagle and to James Paxton for handling it so well. But the biggest props go to the men on the U.S. Olympic Curling team. You are the real MVPs.
