New York Yankees recent run prompts panic as well as changes to the schedule
The New York Yankees just marched through the best of the American League like Sherman through the South, although the Bombers caused more destruction. Now a panicked AL has begged for a redress of grievances, and the commissioner has changed their schedules.
The New York Yankees recent run has changed their 2018 team motto from; We Will Rock You, to, Wake me up When September Ends.
Now their historic winning has sent shock waves through baseball, and teams have tried everything to stop them. Ace starters have come and gone, and the best relievers in baseball have all been dispatched.
There were even two teams that tried to get five-out saves from their closers in order to entirely secure victory. They absolutely lost.
Then there were those who thought they could come back late and steal a victory. But those teams learned a hard lesson: Accept your close game losses quietly. Because if you have the temerity to score late, the Bronx Bombers will proceed to put an embarrassing beat down on you.
At least the Red Sox know it now. They and every other “contender” in the AL; the same ones the Yankees just demolished. New York, meanwhile, is looking back at the league and asking, “What else ya got?”.
Not Much, Really
However, to be clear, this guarantees the Yankees nothing in October. All we are talking about is what the team has done, not what they might do. They haven’t won the division or come close to securing a playoff berth. And nothing in baseball is certain.
But now, right now, they are the biggest, baddest, most dominating team in baseball, maybe all of sports.
In recognition of that and the feelings it can engender, I spoke with my source in the commissioner’s office. Some teams–I’m looking at you Oakland, Kansas City and Baltimore–are worried that the Yankees will do, well, exactly what they have been doing. Only to them.
So a compromise has been worked out. Certain “rebuilding” teams have agreed to forfeit their games rather than let their fan bases see the humiliating distance between them and the Yanks.
That allows for New York to play a series of exhibition games, which will all be better competition and ratings than, say, a mid-week series against the White Sox in early August.
And I have gotten a copy of that new schedule. I wouldn’t share this yet as nothing is official–you know, keep it just between me and you–but you can trust me that this is absolutely, 100%, you don’t have to leave me comments about it not being real, real.
Here, now, is not only a preview of these changes but also a small scouting report for each. Again, this all totally real. Totally.
May 11th-13th
For instance, instead of obliterating the Oakland A’s after they are done dispatching Boston, the New York Yankees will now have three in the Bronx against the Avengers.
Normally the hard-hitting Hulk and his middle-of-the-order-mate/Asgardian god Thor would be favored in any match-up. This is especially true here as their training facility is so close by, in Westchester.
But the Yanks will have one big advantage, and it’s all about timing. The Avengers are being forced to play split-squad games as several of their biggest hitters are currently suiting up against Thanos and his Infinite Six.
The A’s are old-school tough, but everyone knows that Thanos has some serious stones.
That should give Aaron Judge and the Boys at least a fighting chance against the likes of Hawkeye and Captain America. Their biggest concern is probably a pinch-hitting appearance by Captain Marvel.
Wow, I never realized until now a team could have more than one captain.
The Steinbrenners would have scheduled games with teams in the also-Gotham based Justice League, but their ratings are lower than the Marlins.
May 18th-20th
Next up looks to be a three-game set with Charlie Brown and his Peanuts gang. The name is an obvious homage to St. Louis’ Gas House Gang, but not that team’s winning percentage. In fact, the only time the Brownies looked like they might win a game, RHP Brown (0-270) balked in the winning run.
It is doubtful that the games will be very competitive, but still more so than the three they were going to play with the Kansas City Royals.
And it does give the team a chance to scout All-Star shortstop and potential Didi Gregorius replacement, Snoopy. That big-nosed kid doesn’t talk much, but he sure can play.
May 31st-June 3rd
Even division rival Baltimore has begged out of its series in early June, its GM explaining, “Have you seen our record?”.
That opens it up for four games with 27 of the undead’s best, straight out of Woodbury.
Anyone who has seen The Walking Dead knows that their Achilles Heel, for those who still have heels, is team speed. But while they do play a lumbering brand of station-to-station ball, their OBP (.855) would lead any league in the world; they are after all the WALKING dead.
That makes for a tough out. Plus, they never overthink the game. But there are times when things fall apart for, and off of, these guys. However, bunting and hitting against the shift should secure victory for the Yanks.
August 21st-22nd
Finally, in the last scheduled replacement games, the Yankees will play out of the country this season before next year’s battle with Boston in London. So instead of playing two against the Marlins to see how ridiculous Run Differential can be, the Yanks will fly to the Middle East for two against Jesus and HIS Nazareth Nine.
The schedule played in the league’s favor as there is a day off both before and after the set.
Rest assured this is not former Yankee Jesus Montero we’re talking about here or even former Astro Jesus Guzman. No, this Jesus might be soft-spoken, but his never-say-die attitude is even more powerful than Judge’s.
Oh man, as Homer of Springfield would say: “Um, sacrilicious!”.
There are a few other potential match-ups, but none of them have been finalized. But so many teams are now scared of playing the Bronx Bombers that almost any replacement teams are being considered.
Right now that includes but is not limited to: The Bingo-Long Traveling All-Stars; The Katzenjammer Kids; The New York Knights; The Seven Players of Dr. Lao; The Our Gang Kids; and, Bugs Bunny and His Baseball Cavalcade.
Next: See Why the Yankees Mediocre Offense is about to Explode
There is a chance that some of these match-ups will not take place. But when you consider how well the New York Yankees are playing, and how so many teams are not even trying this year, can anyone honestly say you wouldn’t rather hear Sterling’s first Roy Hobbs home run call than Judge’s third in one game against the Royals?
To me, that’s just natural.