2019 MLB headlines: Hey, some are bound to be right
By Rick Soisson
What storylines will happen during the first half of the 2019 MLB season? Here are a few thoughts.
The New Year’s business of predicting 2019 MLB headlines is always a little bit of a risk for a writer, but that’s why they pay us Call to the Pen scribblers the big bucks. Besides, it was right there on the job application: “Are you willing to make a fool of yourself?” That’s why there was only a Yes box to check. Therefore, here are some of the 2019 MLB top line stories before the All-Star break with a few sub-heads for clarity’s sake. Predicting the future should, after all, be specific:
(Jan. 7) Twenty-nine MLB clubs declare indifference about where Manny and Bryce sign
Yankees Death Star Committee is the lone holdout, still puzzling over Machado’s YES Network Instagram follow-unfollow. Billy Beane speaks for the rest: “We’re just tired of this nonsense.”
(Jan. 22) Phillies sign Zach Britton, continue to give frustrated fans small gifts with oversized bows
Fans smarting from Eagles NFC championship game loss don red caps and pelt Citizens Bank Park with rocks. Dozens arrested, but not one cuffed was wearing a Nick Foles jersey.
More from Call to the Pen
- Philadelphia Phillies, ready for a stretch run, bomb St. Louis Cardinals
- Philadelphia Phillies: The 4 players on the franchise’s Mount Rushmore
- Boston Red Sox fans should be upset over Mookie Betts’ comment
- Analyzing the Boston Red Sox trade for Dave Henderson and Spike Owen
- 2023 MLB postseason likely to have a strange look without Yankees, Red Sox, Cardinals
(Jan. 23) Unsigned Bryce Harper falls down basement stairs, fractures ribs and left shoulder
It’s not like we didn’t warn you, Big Guy. Hopeful hair model sees a return by the All-Star break. But where?
(Feb. 13) 2019 MLB camps set to open with 45 free agents still unsigned
Late-night signing of Bartolo Colon by the Mets takes him off the list. Those unsigned still include Mark Wieters, Wilmer Flores, Jed Lowrie, Mike Moustakas, and Dallas Keuchel. Gio Gonzalez turns down offers by Phillies, Rays and Mariners three days running.
(Apr. 10) Bosox Manager Alex Cora refuses to predict perfect season after 12-0 start
16-1 thumping of Blue Jays in home opener “not really a surprise” to Sawks skipper, but he opines, “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves – 162 is a fairly big number.” SportsCenter host gags on air.
(May 5) Orioles trying to hold heads high after historically dismal, 4-31 start
O’s pilot Brandon Hyde candidly assesses a start that included ten early games against Boston and the New York Yankees: “That didn’t help. And the Red Sox are now here for three, and we’re at the Yankees for three next week. We’re not losing 125, though, dammit!”
(May 31) Attendance at 2019 MLB games continues to plummet, off 2500 fans a game
Drop-off ahead of 2018 pace as shocking poll finds average fan unimpressed by P/PA, WAR, FIP, and won’t even attempt to understand the likes of RA9def. Good weather hasn’t even helped.
(June 7) Pittsburgh Pirates “Same as It Ever Was” slogan backfiring
Feeble attempt to invoke glories of Wagner, Clemente and Stargell becomes unintended satire as team limps through 29-32 first half so far.
(June 9) Angels superstar Mike Trout develops thousand-yard stare
Outfielder fined for wearing Zach Ertz jersey under his game jersey, apparently absent-mindedly. Possible sixth year in third or fourth place seemingly affects key player as Halos struggle to break .500 again.
(June 19) Washington Nationals hold four aces and NL East lead by 5 games
1-0 win over Phillies southpaw Wade Miley leaves Philadelphia no closer to solving their “Nationals problem” this season. Poll of Nats fans, however, finds 55 percent expect team to finish third in the division.
(June 23) All 25,179 fans at Diamondbacks-Giants game wear Paul Goldschmidt jerseys
All of them leave in the middle of the third inning after San Francisco builds 7-0 lead.
(June 27) Houston’s Jose Altuve raises his batting average to 2019 MLB best .350
“We’re gonna ask Pittsburgh if they could print one of those ‘Same as It Ever Was’ shirts in blue and orange,” says teammate George Springer.
(July 7) Bryce Harper finishes rehab, signs with Chicago White Sox
All-Star streak for slugger is interrupted at four.