Cincinnati Reds: breaking down the Trevor Bauer rant

Trevor Bauer, the outspoken pitcher of the Cincinnati Reds, hardly takes a breath as he verbally berates MLB commissioner Rob Manfred.

I kind of liked Cincinnati Reds starter Trevor Bauer when he was beefing with Alex Bregman on twitter or throwing baseballs over centerfield fences before being taken out of baseball games. The guy has a pretty good sense of humor and isn’t afraid to laugh at himself.

After watching his little video, however, I am starting to wonder what his motive is. Bauer can self-promote with the best of them, that’s for sure.

Bauer begins by making an excuse for what he’s about to say. It’s late, he’s sick, he’s lost his voice, and he’s upset. Four solid reasons for verbally going off on a guy.

I want to go to the top guy of my company and say, “Hey player, it’s late, I’m sick, I’m losing my voice, and I’m not happy, and you’re going to sit there and listen to what I have to say.”

The pause and hand wipe of the face seventeen seconds in, tremendous dramatic affect.

Thirty-one seconds in Bauer is questioning how Manfred’s proposed playoff plan made it to the internet. Has Bauer ever been on the internet before? Has he seen the type of stuff that makes the internet?

Cincinnati Reds starter Trevor Bauer dissects the scheduling flaws, with the best team getting too much rest before their first game. In the current format does the best team play right away, or do they sit and wait for a wild card game to be played? He’s mad because there could be six days of rest. This year the Astros played on the fifth day after their season ended.

At the 2:23 mark Bauer says he doesn’t want to “rant too much”, he’s two minutes and twenty-three seconds late with this comment. He mixes in a sideways wipe of the face to emphasize how sick and tired he is, literally.

Do you ever wonder what got Trevor Bauer into baseball?

He saw one live Dodgers game a year when he was a kid. You know why Joe Dimaggio hustled and went all out every game, even in blowouts or games which didn’t mean anything in the standings? Because that could have been the one game Trevor Bauer was at, and Joe wanted to give him his best.

At the halfway point Bauer mentions how baseball can’t be found on twitter, but Steph Curry throws a bounce pass in a basketball game and it’s trending. I have to find that bounce pass. It must have been a heck of a pass.

At the 4:19 point he brings poor Mike Clevinger into the discussion because Mike can’t wear cleats that everyone on twitter likes.  But wait, I didn’t think baseball was on twitter. How did the “young people who hang out on twitter” know about them, was Steph Curry wearing them in his bounce pass video?

This cleat policy really has Trevor Bauer in a tizzy.

At the five-minute mark, Bauer alludes to censorship issues with the lack of marketing players.  Kind of made me feel like I lived in China.

5:33 into the rant and bottom to top face wipe preceded by a deep breath. Acting classes are paying off.

The three-batter minimum gets mentioned a handful of times. I agree this is a lame rule but makes me think Bauer walks out of clubs who have a three-drink minimum.

Side of head-hand swipe through the hair at six minutes. Didn’t have the dramatic appeal as earlier hand swipes.

I stand corrected on the dramatic appeal of the aforementioned hand swipe. I believe it was setting up the big guns at 6:12. Quite possibly the first time Bauer looks directly into the camera, he calls out Rob Manfred by name. Those eyes were like daggers for a split second. Does Rob Manfred follow Trevor Bauer on twitter?

At the 6:40 clip, Bauer storms offset. He was filming in his basement, though right?

You ever see the movie “Kingpin,” where Roger Clemens makes a cameo?

Next: Chicago Cubs sign someone who used to be good

After watching the Cincinnati Reds starter Trevor Bauer saga, I feel it was less of an expression of his frustrations with the commissioner of baseball and more of an audition tape to secure a role in a movie, ala Clemens.

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