Who are the top five MLB film characters in movie history, or better yet, if that term is narrowly defined, could you name the best?
Here are the rules: Within the story of the film, all your MLB film characters need to have been in The Show. No film can be named twice, and that should make things at least challenging. For example, no matter how much you admire Eight Men Out, you can’t name three of the Black Sox in that film.
Properly judged, here are undisputed selections for at least the top seven:
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Eddie Harris (Chelcie Ross), Major League (1989): In a film featuring probably five of the best MLB film characters in the top twenty, Eddie Harris, the aging right-hander of the inspiring Cleveland Indians, stands out.
As played by Ross, Eddie is a comic mixture of incredulity and frustration as he surveys his teammates, a squad purposely selected by their owner to lose so she can move the team to Miami.
Ross was actually past his mid-forties when he played Harris, and he looks every bit the aging veteran – a pretty creaky guy, honestly – although he actually played varsity baseball in high school in the late ’50s. His pitching motion is fairly convincing, just really old-looking.
Eddie is also a nice combination of piety and dishonesty. Early in the film, his attempt to organize a team prayer is interrupted by a teammate’s voodoo ritual involving a small explosion and a lot of smoke. See, Pedro Cerano practices voodoo, sets off sprinklers, and a good deal of comedy is built on an antipathy that builds between the two characters.
But as devout as Eddie is, his belief in Jesus doesn’t prevent him from cheating to extend his career, leading to one of the genius bits of dialogue in a baseball movie between him and the young fireballer Rick Vaughn.
In the locker room, Vaughn sees a glob of white goo smeared on Harris’ chest and asks what “that shit” is. Harris answers matter-of-factly, “Crisco.”
And he then goes on to point out Bardol on his head, and Vagisil at his waistline: “Anyone of them will give you two to three-inches drop on your curveball.”
He adds to that, “Of course, if the umps are watching me real close, I’ll rub a little jalapeno up my nose, get it runnin’, and if I have to load the ball up….”
He then wipes his nose.
A popeyed Vaughn asks, “You put snot on the ball?”
Harris replies, “I haven’t got an arm like you, kid. I have to put anything on it I can find. Someday you will too.”
In the end, naturally, Harris does yeoman’s work in the last big game of the film, contributing to the Indians’ victory.