Cards vs. Sox: Who does a Chicago Cubs fan root for?

This is a challenging and awkward week in the soul of every Chicago Cubs fan. Our sworn mortal enemies, the White Sox, are playing our other sworn mortal enemies, the Cardinals, in three games at the Sox’ South Side dump of a park. Who do we root for?

It is a nearly impossible predicament. All our lives, we have been brought up to dislike the South Siders and their often insufferable fans. Since many are co-workers and/or neighbors, this requires a substantial degree of patience and tolerance.

A difficult call for a Chicago Cubs fan

There is obviously much to look askance at about the Sox and their fans. This is a team whose most pertinent moment involved tanking the World Series. The White Sox have a worse historical record than the Cubs, fewer than half as many post-season appearances, and only about a third as many pennants.

The most famous White Sox fan in history? That would probably be long-time Mayor Richard J. Daley, he of fixed elections and the 1968 Grant Park riots.

The Sox haven’t outdrawn the Cubs this entire century. Then again, why would any fan look forward to going to a featureless ballpark in the heart of the city’s South Side that until a few years ago was widely and appropriately known as The Cell?

On the other hand, we only play the Sox six times this season, and not at all until August. That’s three months from now, long enough for open revolt to break out in the Sox clubhouse.

The Cardinals, on the other hand, are a divisional rival. They’re on the Cubs’ schedule 16 more times, and as it happens they are the only team ahead of the Cubs in the NL Central.

Given that the Cubs just finished beating the Cardinals two out of three in St. Louis, those standings, of course, are subject to change on short notice.

The other factor influencing the judgment of a Cubs fan is that with the possible exception of Tony La Russa, the Sox’ designated grandfather, there isn’t really anybody on the Sox who generates a natural dislike. The uniform, yes. The fans, absolutely. But dislike Yoan Moncada, Tim Anderson, or Jose Abreu? What’s the point? As for disliking Yermin Mercedes, hey Tony La Russa is doing a good enough job of that without our help.

The Cardinals roster? That’s another matter entirely. Begin with Yadier Molina, the team’s catcher, de facto manager, and putative plate umpire. It’s also easy to dislike Nolan Arenado and Paul Goldschmidt, mercenaries both, who the Cardinals are paying a combined $61 million this year. Correction: The Cardinals are paying zero to have Arenado play ball for them; his entire $35 million salary is being picked up by the Colorado Rockies.

By the way, Goldschmidt and Arenado went a combined 3-for-23 with one RBI against Cubs pitching this past weekend. Nice return on investment huh?

In the end, the question of which team to root for in this series is probably fairly easy to answer. As Sun Tsu famously wrote in The Art of War, the enemy of my enemy is my friend. By that premise, as awkward as it might be around the office or the neighborhood, this week the choice has to be the White Sox.

This, after all, is their chance for the Sox to take down the Cardinals, and in so doing actually help the Chicago Cubs for once. They’ll probably screw it up, of course, but Cubs fans this week will live in hope.