Houston Astros: What if every player had a cool fan section?
Fan sections are currently hard to come by. But that can change for the Houston Astros, and it should. There are several ideas out there, so hopefully, someone player earns the right to have an entire section dedicated to them. Here are just a few ideas.
The Houston Astros are the reigning World Series champions. They deserve something nice, other than the trophy, which is housed in an important place.
Instead, every player deserves a fan section dedicated to them. ESPN’s David Schoenfield offered ideas for every baseball team.
But he didn’t go into much detail, and he primarily mentioned star players. Being that everyone on Houston’s 25-man roster plays a role in some way almost every day, they all deserve a section.
Not all of the players on the current roster battled against the Dodgers last season to win it all. However, it doesn’t mean they aren’t helping the club return to the playoffs.
For that reason, let them have their share of the fun too.
Most sections in ballparks across the country focus on star players. Yankee Stadium has the Judge’s Chambers, which is arguably the most famous one in the nation.
There are lots of opportunities for someone with loads of creativity to take this challenge and find a way to mix in non-noteworthy players in this too. That was my intention.
Nevertheless, some of the ideas that follow are bizarre, while some are pretty contemporary and understandable. Nobody’s perfect. Thus, some designs may lack creativity or uniqueness.
But this is just one person’s ideas. If other fans had to vote, surely there are thousands of other ideas that would be superb.
What’s important is that fan sections should become the norm throughout stadiums. And sometimes, it doesn’t have to be a star that earns the right to their very own section.
Now let’s have some fun.
Mad Max Stassi’s Fury-ous Fan Section
What a lovely day, indeed.
But this section has plenty of water to disperse out to fans — hopefully, anyone reading this understands what I’m talking about.
There’s a guy playing a wacky guitar hooked to massive speakers in one part. And if the guitarist can play the Star-Spangled Banner every once in a while, that’d be a plus.
Though having televisions mounted on walls replaying scenes from the recent flick would be entertaining, and kind of crazy, fans would get distracted. They came to watch the Astros win.
Nevertheless, there would be one day during the season dedicated to the flick. That would surely inspire some interesting costumes, right?
Gattis’ Grub Hub
I’m not sure if Evan Gattis is a huge food connoisseur. But no matter, it would be an appealing section to just about anyone.
And here’s the catch – the food comes to you, hence “Grub Hub.” Surely, some of the more premier sections at the stadium have this perk, but these could be more affordable.
Minute Maid Park has several goodies for fans of every age too. And the chefs on staff made significant changes before the season began.
Most notable are the newest hot dog options. The Caribbean dog features all of the refreshing toppings of a light summer salad mixed with bold braised pork. Meanwhile, if Houston fans want to represent their state well, they will go for the pulled pork and bacon barbecue dog.
Of course, Gattis would get to choose a new special each week. And even on one of his days off, have the guy cook – even if he’s bad at it.
Old Man McCann’s Place
Being the oldest player on the club isn’t a bad thing. It might lead to some ridicule from his younger teammates.
Now, this is exaggerating, but having a diner-like, retro section could be pretty cool. Even if McCann doesn’t like it, well he’s not the marketing supervisor, so he has no say.
Neither do I, but imagination is a fun exercise.
Astros teammates could make McCann feel much older than he is by helping determine how to decorate the area. Black-and-white television with a side of a soda bar with fizzy pop shooting out of fountains.
Or the team can be much nicer to the older veteran and only reference popular media from his days as a teenager. Either way, this would be a fun section in my book.
Jose’s Hitting Bonanza
When I think of the best hitter in the league for average, Jose Altuve comes to mind for several reasons. Most notably, the All-Star won the batting title each of the past four years.
But can anyone take down the king of hits in his own section?
The second baseman will likely be on the field, so maybe that’s not an accurate question. However, I’m sure someone can make this a realistic challenge.
I’m sure everyone is aware of a golf projector screen that allows someone to hit the golf ball into it and it shows where it would land. Why not try that with baseball, except against a virtual pitcher?
Think of Wii Sports but more realistic. It’d be like one of those games with a radar gun. But this is more futuristic. It needs to happen.
Latin America – the Section!
Yuli Gurriel, Marwin Gonzalez and Carlos Correa should be reminded of home in this part of the stadium. Whoever designs the section will ensure the section exemplifies the significant traditions from their hometowns.
From food to folklore to music, everything is traditional. And that would inspire plenty of promotional days that involve the section.
Musical instruments are handed out for fans to play. Dancing contests occur on occasion. Fans can bring the party to the baseball game.
All the Astros need is to survey their players from this area to see how to perfect it. Surely, they would know more than anyone in the Houston organization.
A-Breg’s Hangout
I wonder what it would be like to watch a baseball game – at a baseball stadium – in a hammock — seems pretty relaxing.
Well anyone lucky enough to sit in this section has all the perks of a sunny day on an island in Houston. The Astros probably don’t spend time at the beach during the season. Neither do die-hard fans.
But this would allow both to have some fun. Fruity drinks in coconuts and palm leaves exemplify a vacation somewhere where it’s sunny and 65.
Well, why not have the luxury of that while watching the reigning champions take over the American League West?
Sign me up immediately.
Jake’s Joke Shop
Is there a bigger joke than Marisnick’s batting average? Okay, that was harsh.
Anyways, this is another one of those family-friendly sections that encompass what everyone wants. But here, it involves jokes, pranks and the like.
Standup comedians in between innings to get in some one-liners. Mystery whoopee cushions being placed when people go to get their food and drinks.
This would be a great section when opponents blow out the Astros. However, that never happens. Nevertheless, people would still have fun.
And there’s a gift shop involved!
Kemp’s Cool Club
Kempin ain’t easy. At least, that’s what Astros twitter account says.
Though the outfielder hasn’t been with the big-league club very long, he’s contributed with several highlight-reel plays. There has to be more to his persona though.
And that’s what this section is all about. Whether he’s a hip-hop guy or a jazzman, this club will have all the hits. Even if it’s country, surely they can work something out.
Even better, the club stays open even after the game is over – for VIPs at least. Orbit can be a bouncer too. The Astros would need someone more trustworthy in that position.
Nevertheless, these would be the coolest seats in town. They might have to put it on the higher deck so that it wouldn’t cause a ruckus.
Josh Reddick’s Jump-a-Palooza
Bounce house on bounce house on bounce house. Sounds like something out of a tiny tike rap song, am I right?
Well, this is not your ordinary carnival or castle bounce house. These would be tested by none other than Reddick himself for maximum air.
Sure, this section would seem tailored to children. But there has to be more motivation for their parents as well.
Imagine having a gauntlet in the center of a pool where adults can duke it out using oversized q-tips. There has to be something that can entice them to have as much fun as kids in this situation.
I suppose it would be an exciting way to view a baseball game constantly bouncing. It sounds enticing.
Springer’s Swim Club
Every section is better with a pool, right? In the Houston heat, I’d think so.
Slides, chutes, and suds would make this spot an excellent destination for all families. But wait, there’s more.
There could be a poolside bar for the grown-ups and some silly water guns for the children’s shenanigans. The only issue I can think of will be to endure a cannonball by Orbit if the Astros lead at the seventh-inning stretch.
But I would imagine that’s worth it.
The Triple-A stadium in Fresno has a pool in center field, though it is nothing extravagant. This section could provide much more excitement.
And every time Springer crushes one out of the park, a free round of drinks for the adults. For the kids, a free round of water balloons. Guess which group would have more fun.
Uncle Charlie’s House
Charlie Morton may not be from a rural Texas town. He’s actually from the East Coast.
Nevertheless, his nickname promises a warm, country cabin filled with hot chocolate and a quaint fireplace. That wouldn’t appeal to many people during a heat-filled afternoon.
The Astros can find a way to make it work. And it’s most enjoyable when Morton is on the mound. Every strikeout creates an opportunity to do something wacky.
Moreover, camouflage has to be involved somehow. I’m not sure Morton would necessarily approve, but essentially he has no say.
If he wants anything to change, he might have to acquire a nickname – other than the one stated above. And please, that’s a better option than “Ground Chuck.” Though that could inspire a future section that features a variety of burgers.
But I haven’t changed my mind on that just yet.
Kid Keuchy’s Barbershop
It’d be hard to believe anyone other than Dallas Keuchel boasts the best beard on the team – and arguably in baseball. Well, whoever wants to have a similar beard is in luck.
All the club has to do is track down Keuchel’s barber and convince them to work their magic for random fans.
And of course, there must be an Astros beard contest at some point. It would be a travesty not to have one. The only issue would be getting Keuchel to be the primary judge.
Of course, he does typically have a few days off in between starts.
Verlander’s Video Game Emporium
A child’s dream nowadays isn’t just being able to watch Justin Verlander on the mound. It likely includes unlimited access to their favorite video games.
If today’s pace of play is an issue for fans with short attention spans, maybe this will help. However, it may attract a much larger crowd than the organization may want.
But it would occupy the kids for a while when parents try to have a nice night out. And now they can do so without any worries.
However, the choice of games may be a difficult decision. Would they be limited to solely baseball-related games?
Backyard baseball seems like a must, even though it’s mostly outdated. Admittedly, there are some better ones that would promote the sport.
Lance’s McFanatics
What’s more American than having a section dedicated to the best food McDonald’s can provide? Hopefully, something.
But in this section, rename the franchise after McCullers and suddenly, the burgers taste better, and the apple pies are warmer. You can keep the same fries, though.
Nevertheless, the Astros could pull off a parody fast food franchise and serve better food. And they wouldn’t need a creepy clown as the mascot.
McCullers would be the face of the business. Thus, a large photo of the pitcher hangs on a wall in the back. He’s the CEO, anyway.
I’m not sure everyone would prefer this idea. But if the food is good, no one will complain.
The Gerrit of All Time
Gerrit Cole has made quite the impression in his first season in Houston. Why not dedicate a section to the starting pitcher and his accomplishments in such a short time?
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That means T-shirts portraying his face with the GOAT label stamped on it. Of course, fans know it doesn’t stand for its original meaning – Greatest of All Time.
He can be dubbed the league’s best Gerrit of all time, mostly because few people spell it that way.
Nevertheless, there would be a full-on brochure explaining when to bow down to Cole while he’s pitching. Then all the fans have to sing Cole’s favorite song. It’s all in the brochure.
If you don’t follow the rules, I suppose you don’t have to get kicked out. But it would be much more fun to demonstrate your fanaticism with the All-Star pitcher.
The Pen
Flat-screen televisions don the wall. There’s more draft beer than the eye can handle. And a jukebox with highlights of prominent moments can help fans reminisce about the club’s success.
I’m sure this idea there is already a bar with this name, but how can it beat out a bar at a baseball field. That bodes well with fans, especially if the beer is cold and the appetizers are baseball-themed.
And there are barstools customized for each relief pitcher on the team. Each has a different design, and then they are sold at the end of the year. Well, that’s because not every reliever will be in Houston forever.
Next: Houston has a chance to swap A.J. Reed
Houston fans can unite in a more comfortable environment and cheer on the Astros. Just make sure there is a limit on how much one can drink to prevent any mishaps or issues.