MLB All-Time Names: The All-Horrid Name Team

Around the infield

C Noe Munoz: Despite attending Emiliano Zapata High School in his native Mexico, Munoz’ career was not really very revolutionary. He played almost noe MLB games – two for the Dodgers in 1995. His big league career spanned a total of 14 days, in which he occupied the eighth slot in LA’s batting order twice, going to the plate exactly once. Aside from his PA and AB columns, his record is a kind of miracle of zeroes. He was on the field for a total of 15 batters, but made no errors, had no passed balls, and stopped all potential wild pitches.

1B “Chicken” Hawks: Louis Nelson Hawks is a bit of a mystery. He was a .316 “lifetime” MLB hitter, but played in only two seasons in The Show, one each with the 1921 Yankees and the ’25 Phillies, although he played another 12 years in the minors, including with five different teams after his stint with Philadelphia. In his season in Philly, he posted a .322 batting average (fifth best on the team), hitting five home runs and driving in 45. The last two teams Hawks played for, the San Francisco Seals and the Mission Reds, were in the Pacific Coast League. As is widely known, those old PCL teams, in the absence of MLB on the West Coast, sometimes paid very well, attracting players who might otherwise be in the American or National League “back east.” However, could “Chicken” Hawks have been one of the Phillies numerous errors in judgement in the 20th century?

In view of the horrible Sandusky scandal and the continuing scandal in a major American church, the Committee has recommended against any jokes here at all.

2B “Buttercup” Dickerson: A tiny player at 5-foot-6 and 140 pounds, Lewis Pessano Dickerson was a petal in the wind, playing for eight teams in seven seasons between 1878 and 1885 while hitting .284. He is the only player on the list to have played for the Worcester Ruby Legs.

He is also one of a number of MLB players saddled with arguably female names, including three whose first name was Shannon, a Lindsay, and an Andrea. See also 3B.

3B Loren Babe: Take note that Babe’s first name was his given name. His nickname was “Bee Bee”, and he was a .223 lifetime hitter with the 1952 and ‘53 Yankees and the ’53 Athletics.

Babe may have been a player 50 years before his time, because he walked exactly 1.50 times for each of his career strikeouts. However, after going from New York, where he started the ’53 season 6 for 18, to the Athletics, he tailed off to a .224 BA and was gone from MLB for good.

SS Tony Suck: Apparently, Tony Suck was actually born Charles Anthony Zuck, but the reason for changing his name seems to be lost in the mists of time. This is not surprising since he was literally born before the Civil War, in 1858.

Suck’s only noteworthy performance was in 1884. That season he had three hits in ten at-bats for the Baltimore Monumentals of the Union Association, which is not seen by some as a “major league.” The infielder’s lifetime batting average is currently considered to be .151 and included a bit more time with another UA team, the Chicago Browns in ‘84, and some time with the Buffalo Bisons the previous season, where he had one hit in eight AB.

He wasn’t much of a fielder either.

One day Suck’s line in history may very well be his lonely, two-game effort for that nearly forgotten National League team in upstate New York. But despite an early death (at 36), the player is actually documented as a continuing baseball enthusiast and umpire who was very likeable.